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….Boys indeed have their issues with puberty too. However, the girl’s issue with puberty manifests as tremendous insecurity in what seems to be countless forms that never seems to cease until death….
Honey I Love You. You’re Perfect. Now Change! This is the title of a stage play I saw advertised on TV. I have not seen the play but whoever titled it also had at least an intuition into one of the biggest issues women in our culture face, namely, insecurity or rather, low esteem, and how to deal with it.
It’s still considered a phenomenon amongst many social scientists because the fact is regardless of how parents bring up their daughter’s, right around the age of puberty all girl’s self esteem seems to plummet like the stock market in the fall of 2008. It simply evaporates.
This makes perfect sense to me because puberty is when the hormone flow helps to kick in some of the instinctive behavior that is related to all mammals. In particular I’m talking about childbirth.
Granted, in our society twelve years old girls giving birth is quite the No-No. But that’s not how it works at the mammalian level of life. And I predict that in a perfectly safe world a young woman’s self esteem at puberty would be a non-issue because it would not “TANK”.
However, since we obviously live in an imperfectly safe world the elders of the community do whatever they can do to dissuade sexual activity at such a young age for girls or boys.
Boys indeed have their issues with puberty too. However, the girl’s issue with puberty manifests as tremendous insecurity in what seems to be countless forms that never seems to cease until death.
To combat this, current day experts in child rearing suggest trying numerous things such as, to encourage young girls to assert themselves as much as possible from extra curricular activities at school to being all that they can be in virtually anything else they encounter in life in order to prop up and hopefully inculcate self esteem into each young woman. That’s great, but the problem is, these methods do not seem to be working.
Meanwhile, the mammalian pressure from the primal lands located deep within each woman, are hard at work driving her to engage in the one thing she was born to do. That is, pick the best male of her species she can find, mate with him, and perpetuate the species! And even though that’s a fact Jack does that end the story?
Nope. Not by a long shot because we humans possess one thing unique to our species and something no other mammal faces, and that is, the power of reason a/k/a cognitive development. And if we are to believe our developmental psychologists then we need to accept as fact that our cognitive development does not reach maturity until around the age of 25.
Again, for human males, how they deal with such a dichotomy is an issue and it is different than girls and it is the subject for another blog. For women, the fact that their mammalian self tells them to mate at 12 but their over all ability to choose a mate for life does not completely develop until age 25, and couple this with the fact we live in an imperfectly safe world it is truly a wonder why women are not completely insane with insecurity. Or are they?
This still leaves the question “What to do about it”? Admittedly, there are more aspects to this subject than I’ve put in this blog. Please keep on the look out for the release of my book titled, “The Perfect Relationship: How to Find, Build, and Keep it”. In the book many questions like the one put forth here get answered.
OR, if you wish email me and I will put that email on a list to contact when the book gets released. email@example.com is my email. I am the only one who reads email sent there and I promise to keep your ID anonymous.
Copyright Gary Jamesã 2009 all rights reserved