EMPOWERED WOMEN: DO THEY HAVE IT ALL? OR IS THERE SOMETHING MISSING?
Saturday, December 20th, 2008You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
When I first told her about the psychological theories I discovered and how they relate to other than personal relationships difficulties, she volunteered information to the effect of, “There is something missing and it’s not merely to deal with an insecure husband.” She said, “It’s something inside, like a gnawing”.
I have many women friends, acquaintances, and lovers who “want it all” and then go out and get it! Yet all of these beautiful empowered women admit, “There’s still something missing”. And each of them I have talked with about the something missing also adds, “And I’m not alone”.
One friend (and former lover) in particular who has plenty of what I call zeal for life, met a man, got married, and raised a beautiful child. She started a business that grew and became successful enough that she now owns a home and a vacation-get away condo, two late model vehicles, private school for her child, and enough free time that she can call her own in order to escape so as to not go crazy when her husband who constantly quizzes her about where she spends her free time as if to say, “honey, I love you but I do not trust you and I’m intimidated by your success”. Got the picture?
When I first told her about the psychological theories I discovered and how they relate to other than personal relationships difficulties, she volunteered information to the effect of, “There is something missing and it’s not merely to deal with an insecure husband.” She said, “It’s something inside, like a gnawing”. YEP!
My friend is the classic example of empowered women syndrome. And it’s nothing more than one of the theories I uncovered that manifests as a deep psychological defense mechanism against a woman’s polarized sense of insecurity.
I say polarized because there are two basic needs for security that women continually contend with and the two are in constant conflict. Each need is instinctive and they tend to operate as a mutually exclusive function. And it is this function that lay at the heart of the “inner gnawing”.
Meanwhile, in following my research I now conclude that if one polarized need is being satisfied to the point where the psychological “gnawing” subsides it is typically at the expense of suppressing or otherwise ignoring the other need, where the “gnawing” persists.
ADVERTISERS
A prime example of how one aspect of this something missing scenario has been exploited can be seen in the advertising industry. Quite often advertisers will aim ads, products, and services at the evident conflict between women’s rational and irrational selves. I am sure this approach works well to move merchandise but it is psychological surface water compared to the deep seated ocean of need a woman has for security that keeps her searching for the “something missing” that often seems to be just out of reach.
Is there a more affirmative answer? Yes. Read “Love Du Jour! Learn How to Date, Mate, and Communicate with the Opposite Sex in the Era of Empowered Women.”
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