….when a woman verbally or even non verbally disses a man in the instinctive behavioral areas such as his sex drive and his drive for honor simultaneously, she can be putting herself at serious risk….
The circumstances between model/actress Jasmine Fiore and the reality show contestant Ryan Jenkins are a prime example of how instinctive drives related to “The Mammalian Way”™ can work against the human condition when it fuels rage. However, in the case of behavior as extreme as murder-suicide, it always has a cognitive (learned behavior) connection as well. But it is also mostly due to a huge lack of understanding about “The Mammalian Way”™. Such is the basis for most of the conflict known as, “The War of the Sexes”.
Other than humans, all male mammals would never murder his female and then kill him self. Rather, he would run off all the other males who are after his female, and in the process he might kill one of them.
That is normal male mammal behavior. The drive to behave that way is wired into each and every human male born. Men can be quite volatile when some other guy tries to move in on a female he sees as “his own”. It’s natural mammalian instinctive behavior to do so. But to kill her in the process of running off the other males, that’s strictly learned behavior, and this volatile behavior is not uncommon between men and women in relationships, when they deal with relationships issues, although it usually does not end in death.
Meanwhile, the psychology of women, especially those who see themselves as “empowered women” tends to negate the fact that men are instinctively wired to behave very different than women when it comes to social behavior in relationships.
Unless you’ve read my book titled, “The Mammalian Way” it is easy to assume that a woman in a relationship can dis a man to the same degree that she might accept a dis and that her behavior is socially acceptable. And perhaps this is so. Believe it or not, like it or not, when a woman verbally or even non verbally disses a man in the instinctive behavioral areas such as his sex drive and his drive for honor simultaneously, she can be putting herself at serious risk. Case in point is the Jasmine Fiore-Ryan Jenkins matter. We’ve heard the psychatrists and other professionals analyze the behavior of the couple and even draw some conclusions.
But what if the professionals are all analyzing such behavior as murder-suicide using the same incomplete paradigm? What if the behavior between Jazmine Fiore & Ryan Jenkins, or, Steve McNair-Sahel Kazemi could have been predicted and/or averted? What if either one in either of the pairs knew how to discern the difference between a lovers quarrel and potential disaster, as well as where & how such behavior emanates? It’s very much about human psychological defense mechanisms (one for women, one for men) designed to protect us from harm, but because of certain circumstances the defense mechanism that helps us to contend with our instinctive behavior somehow goes awry. What then?…
You truly need to read the book “The Mammalian Way”. Do not be deceived. Know how to see the danger OR the love. Be safe AND happier.
Men who overtly act out their mammalian selves how, where, and when they choose has been a human foregone fact of life for centuries. It’s only been over the last forty years where men have been forced to deal with the psychology of women doing essentially the same thing. For those who read my book you can now see that “The Mammalian Way”™ is alive and well in our culture. The fact is, as the world turned more and more unsafe, this elaborate psychological defense mechanism has become more and more prominent in controlling human behavior.
However, it’s only been in recent decades where men have had to face knowing “how and why” “The Mammalian Way”™ operates on each gender. Otherwise, they get screwed and they don’t get “nearly enough sex” in relationships (more pain-less pleasure) and this at least goes against the basic premise of the acclaimed, “Pleasure Principle”.
Even though a small portion of men can see how it affects their love life, intuitively, most men still choose to remain ignorant as to “The Mammalian Way’s” importance, and it shows, for example, in the increase in the number of men who clandestinely ask me for help.
“What do I say to a woman when I approach her”? This is still the number one question I get asked by men who find it ever increasingly difficult to find a mutually agreeable woman willing to have sex with him.
Men allow their mammalian selves to get completely out of control while at the same time they use their cognitive ability to lie to themselves, that they do not need to follow the mammalian rules of social behavior in relationships, especially when they do not even bother to know what the rules are. It’s like a man who goes on a hunt and all he takes with him is a gun and some bullets (analogous to his erection and his big mouth) but no proper clothing or, knowledge of the game he’s hunting, knowledge of the woods, rules related to the hunt, and any recent changes to those rules. How foolish is that? Meanwhile,
The answer to the rhetorical question, what do I say is, “If a man is smart he says nothing at all until she approaches you or gives you a sign that it’s OK to approach her”. Otherwise, a man should not approach a woman. Believe it or not, that is how it’s always been. It’s a part of the Mammalian Way and it always works. The reason men feel that they can use some “line” to “pick up a woman” is because of their own “Perversions of Honor” (See the book titled “The Mammalian Way”.)
So long as a man does not know what “Perversions of Honor” means and how to work his life around it, in this day and age he is not likely to have nearly the sex he could have, and this includes committed relationships between men and women such as marriage. WHY? Because most of the instinctive behavioral elements of “The Mammalian way”™ that have remained dormant or suppressed within women for centuries is now becoming more and more manifest in their daily lives.
Essentially, the changes men now see in women’s empowered behavior is, a woman’s Mammalian Way coming of age. And so long as we live in an imperfectly safe world the gusto of what that means, ala, more sex, more pleasure-less pain, will go to the men and women who know about and how to contend with the attributes related to “The Mammalian Way”™.
In other words, with respect to meeting a woman willing to have sex with them, men screw themselves through ignorance of “The Mammalian Way”™ and as a consequence they also do not have sex with a woman nearly as much as they could. To learn more click the book cover below.
I do not encourage commenst here. If you wish you may email me, gary.jms1@gmail.com I am the only one who reads mail sent there.
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com I do not encourage comments here. Email gary.jms1@gmail.com OR, http://www.twitter.com/garyjames OR, click the link to buy my book titled, “The Mammalian Way”.
Could the injuries & fatalities that occurred on 8-4-09 at the LAfitness club near Bridgeville, PA have been avoided? Possibly. That is if Sodini or who ever he went to for therapy (If he went to therapy) new about the true issues that surround human instinctive behavior, behavior I call, “The Mammalian Way”.
From what I’ve read in his blog, George Sodini’s behavior is directly related to a lack of knowledge about a most important psychological-sociological discovery I made about human unlearned behavior. For men, they have an extraordinary intense & instinctive need for honor & sex. (And it’s very different for men than women.)
I mention the fact it’s different for men and women because I have found if you want to help humans make a reasonably permanent and positive change in their behavior then such modification begins with an understanding of how each gender responds to their own set of instincts, especially the ones that effect social behavior.
For example, most people who read my book, “The Mammalian Way” are initially surprised to learn that between sex & honor it’s men’s sense of honor drive that typically causes men the most trouble and causes the most pain in their lives. And whether you are a long time licensed therapist (psychiatrist, psychologist, social counselor, etc) or an ordinary civilian who interacts with other people, you need to read my book and learn about the theory I developed over several decades. Why?
Because, so long as we live in an increasingly unsafe world without such knowledge you will have an ever increasing probability and more risk of pain in your life, pain that can be avoided. Such was the case for George Sodini as well as 3 dead and several other injured women. The mammalian way of things, that I am certain is at the root of that tragedy bit them bad.
….the theories indirectly pose very definite answers to many of the more pervasive questions that have become a part of human culture. Questions such as, “Why do good girls like bad boys”? “Why do Men only seem to want one thing”? “Why are Women so difficult to figure out”? and more….
Professionally, my background is production. (TV, film, standard grass roots stuff, etc) Whatever legitimate way I could pay the bills.
Along that journey I discovered I had an ability to write and share useful information about relationships. (A spin off from a wider endeavor called Social Theory)
This has spawned from me a book that literally adds two new workable theories to the big picture paradigm in the social sciences. I discovered that humans have instinctively developed over a long period of time two elaborate psychological defense mechanisms (one for women, one for men) that help us to contend with moment to moment survival amongst one another who have no choice but to live in an imperfectly safe world (environment). The issue is, our instinctive behavior now runs a constant collision course with our learned behavior. It’s an earth wide issue and over the last few decades at least it has brought the human condition face to face with it’s own existence.
The question can be asked then, is there hope for humans? I say yes, absolutely. It just takes a little understanding of what we often take for granted (our behavior) and a little application of that understanding to make our lives, and especially our relationships with others more perfect under the circumstances we each face day to day.
On a lighter note, the interesting part (and why the book is worth the resources spent to read it) is the theories indirectly pose very definite answers to many of the open ended and more pervasive questions that have become a part of human culture. Questions such as, “Why do good girls like bad boys”? “Why do Men only seem to want one thing”? “Why are Women so difficult to figure out”? and more.
OR, TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY,
Application of the information shared in the book, “The Mammalian Way” will help to take away the pain or potential pain often associated with personal relationships and brought about because we are conditioned by our own society’s socialization process to “MISREAD” the actions and reactions of people’s instinctive behavior and especially the behavior of the opposite sex. Still, this book is not necessarily for everyone.
However, it is:
FOR ANYONE WHO FEELS LIKE THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST “WRONG” FOR THEM!
For women who feel they needed to “decide” between marrying safe and the Za za Zoom of love.
For men who get their heart broken every time they get into a relationship…and they have no idea the real reason(s) why?
For anyone who has come home to find an empty house or apartment because their “Love” interest has left them and can never provide a tangible explanation as to why?
For anyone who has heard the words, “I just don’t love you any more” spoken from the one who was supposed to be their “soul mate”.
For people who wish to avoid the “control freak” “Fatal Attraction” syndrome in relationships.
For people who are in a long term relationship and the “Za Za ZOOM” feeling that made it worth while in the first place has somehow evaporated.
For people who were burned in relationships to the point they now think that relationships, just like love….stinks!
For men who think that to approach women using the age old “numbers Game”, i.e., the more women you directly approach the greater the probability of meeting a woman willing to go out with you….is still the way to meet women….
For women who know, “Men only want one thing”, but can’t figure out much of anything else about men beyond that (and often do not admit it).
For women who constantly fake orgasm to keep him happy then masturbate for sexual release.
For women who “turned” gay or Bi in order to achieve true intimacy in the physical aspects of a relationship.
For men who think that they are the ones who “pick up women”.
For men who are phobic enough to not engage in conversations with women about subjects such as the Vagina, etc.
For men who are phobic enough about their manhood that they will not take the lead in a relationship with a woman.(For men who do not know enough or even how to take the lead in a relationship in the first place.)
For anyone who has cheated or been cheated on and wants to change that behavior.
For women and for men who truly want a relationship as perfect as possible.
For anyone who has been in or does not want to be in an abusive relationship.
For anyone who wants to improve their love (includes sex) life
For men who have never had “A” grade sex in their life (and probably does not even know what that means).
For anyone who loves “Love & Romance” but is afraid to trust it.
For anyone who materially “has it all” (house, business, condo at the beach, plenty money, trophy spouse, cars, etc) but senses that there is still something missing from your life….Something that you can’t quite put your finger on (pin point).
For anyone who wants their sex life to be fun and therapeutic.
For anyone who relates to what is conveyed here but has not read one specific to you.
Plus, as you learn to see and to utilize your new understanding of the Mammalian Way people become more predictable and tolerable because you will possess a more complete paradigm of “WHY” people behave the way they do, even when they don’t. Especially when that behavior runs contrary to what the social norms and mores of our culture might dictate.
All & all, understanding the Mammalian Way will provide you with a more tangible sense of peace and harmony with yourself and with others…and a silent ability, uniquely human trait that can be used to keep your world a physical & emotionally safer place to live. This is because human instinctive behavior that make up the Mammalian Way is predictable.
I do not encourage comments here. If you wish you may email me gary.jms1@gmail.com I am the only one who reads email sent there.
….there are a couple of very powerful instinctive forces at work as the root cause for the insecure behavior in women. 1) Men instinctively see women as sex objects first and foremost. 2) Women are instinctively grossly insecure. And when these two instincts collide,….
For decades, from a Social Theorist’s perspective I’ve listened to women lament about their supposed “Lot in Life”. A lot that set off the “Women’s Empowerment Movement” as it were. Meanwhile,
Most recently I saw a small group of women on a morning TV news show in discussion of the question, “why after years of struggle, are women (especially young women) as a group or individuals no closer to achieving the confidence and self esteem” that men seem to possess. Not that they compared their selves to men, but they were talking about how despite years of effort, according to a poll taken, their daughters have little or no self esteem once they get past puberty.
The results of the poll they mentioned did not surprise me at all. However, as the women’s discussion became stymied over the question “what can be done about it” I could not help but smile because I pretty much know why women face the issue of low self esteem.
The fact comes down to one thing: Women’s gross sense of insecurity (the actual root cause of the low self esteem) is an instinctive-physiological fact of being born a human female. Yes, women’s insecurity is as instinctive as knowing when they are hungry or thirsty. [This concept is a part of the theories I write about in my book titled, “In Search of the Perfect Relationship”].
This instinctive insecurity can manifest over a woman’s life time in various forms. The one form that came up in the TV discussion as an example is what I refer to as, “Women’s pecking order” that begins with, “The Alpha Female”.
Whereby, as though it were a fulfillment of their insecurity drive (or even a perverse way to satiate the need) women instinctively and continually compare themselves to Alpha Females a/k/a the 10.
And it’s easy to spot, just look at the front cover of women’s magazines. The Alpha female’s (10) look is conveyed to the readers as the standard. Even though women as a movement currently seem to have a push toward a “down play” of women comparing themselves to super models and others who’s physical look find their way to the cover of magazines, the fact is, all women have the propensity to compare them selves to the illusion of the Alpha Female, an illusion that men fall for nearly all the time.
The thing I find interesting is, if women were to succeed in convincing magazine editors to dispense with the touched up photos of a beautiful women who does not seem to need touched up for the front cover, in order to induce a woman to purchase the magazine, what indeed would they replace it with?
I have no doubt women can find something other than an Alpha Female to put on a cover (Oprah Winfrey’s magazine “O” for example) but, if all magazine’s were to follow that lead it would leave a void as well as a wide open market for financial success to anyone who was willing to simply follow the bottom line of the way things are (and perhaps have always been). Namely, “Sex sells” and use it to sell magazines. The point I make here is actually mute because the magazines that use beautiful female models on the front cover to sell magazines to WOMEN is prolific to say the least.
For example, a touched up photo of an Alpha female on the cover of a magazine such as “Cosmopolitan” exudes sex appeal, and I doubt you will see Cosmo change that approach any time soon because the Cosmo editors know that selling the illusion in order to sell magazines works…..all the time! The fact that it’s motivated by a woman’s primal instinct of insecurity is of little relevance.
Bear in mind, the readership of Cosmopolitan et al., is also far more women than men. In other words women’s instinctive insecurity runs deep enough that women literally dress up for other women! The attraction in doing so is a very subtle intimidation of the “other than Alpha Women” to comply with the dress code and over all Look of the Alpha female (the cover girl)
Meanwhile, there are a couple of very powerful instinctive forces at work as the root cause for the insecure behavior in women. 1) Men instinctively see women as sex objects first and foremost. 2) Women are instinctively grossly insecure. And when these two instincts collide, women for example intuitively know these 2 facts all too well and so in order to achieve esteem (by virtue of men looking at them) they “sexify” their Look to not only attract men’s eyes but they also attract women’s eyes in the form of envy & vanity….and it all emanates from instincts.
Also, in addition to the instinctive issue for women to always try to match the physical beauty of a cover girl Look there is a powerful emotional force that reinforces the insecurity drive and that is the fact that physical beauty in and of itself is fleeting which adds to the over all insecurity that women feel about their looks and this also translates into a woman’s innate feeling of low self esteem.
I realize that my perspectives and theories do not always sit well with women’s empowerment as a movement, at least initially. Women often deny the fact that their insecure behavior is instinctive as opposed to learned. Most women I have spoken with who challenge my perspective often site the numbers of women involved as a movement, meant as though if all women fought against the instinctive behavior, that this alone would serve to institute real change. The issue is, when a force is instinctive you can’t fight it with learned behavior. Nature will win out every time. On the other hand when a woman reads my copy and reasons it out is when real change becomes possible. Or so I’ve been told, and it’s also what I’ve observed statistically in women’s behavior.
Given what I know about human behavior and the theories I’ve written, I predict that so long as women work toward and try to change the behavior of women against their own instincts it will be as valuable to women as is spitting into the wind.
So, will women ever become truly empowered on a personal level? Not so long as they fight against their own instincts.
However, the question that does remain is, “what do women do to improve their sense of self esteem” knowing their behavior insecurity issue is instinctive? There is an answer to that question but that’s another blog.
