Tuesday, August 24th, 2010
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Someone has discovered that there is a very specific Starting Point where all relationships connect, begin, and end. Over thirty years of research went into discovering an existing Law of Nature (similar to gravity), only this law applies to human relationships and it's now known as The Mammalian Way.
So if you desire to have a wonderful relationship(s) with lots of happiness, and little if any pain, then first you need to read The Mammalian Way. It will improve your ability to have a a happy fulfilling love life.
Because of his dedication to finding the TRUTH of why so many relationships fail, and his continuous efforts in creating and perfecting this theory, I am a survivor today. Mr. James' unique understanding of both Men and Women has finally brought to light the deepest nature of how human (mammalian) relationships work.
Once you read The Mammalian Way, I guarantee that you will come to have a clearer, more precise understanding of who you are as a Man/Woman and how your very nature plays the biggest role in every relationship you've had, or will have.
Become a relationship survivor with me, and get your own copy of The Mammalian Way. You can have more Happiness, with far less Pain, and understand how to keep your relationship on track by following this simple Law of Nature.
Copyright (C) Gary James - 2010 all rights reserved
Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
You’re at www.garyjamesblogs
ALL THEY DO IS LISTEN IN ON CONVERSATIONS AND LEARN HOW THE LAW OF NATURE KNOWN AS “THE MAMMALIAN WAY” CAN GIVE PEOPLE GREAT HAPPINESS OR UNNECESSARY PAIN……
Conversations with Men: If you think women are confused about men. Just listen in and learn what men do know about women and what they don’t know about themselves when it comes to sex, romance, and love. No “A” grade sex for those guys only “B” grade sex at best.
Conversations with Women: Women get an easy read on men because they know men only want one thing….or at least that’s how it seems. What they don’t know is WHY men seem to be getting worse and WHAT it is that women truly want.
You need to go to my radio show and check out the information you’ll find useful in your own relationships.
ATTENTION: I have decided to produce radio dramas to further enhance the value of how men and women benefit by knowledge of how to use “The Mammalian Way” for more pleasure & happiness and less pain in everyday decisions made in relationships.
Regardless of the program you listen to, you need a copy of the book to get the most of the terms and other mammalian way speak used in the dramas and conversations. Bye for now.
I do not encourage comments here. You may comment at my show or email me at email@example.com
Copyright Gary James (C) 2010 all rights reserved.
Monday, January 11th, 2010
You’re at www.garyjamesblogs.com
Since I began to promote my book titled, “The mammalian Way” I have been asked for advice on just about every category of personal relationships, from dating to divorce as it were. Even though I can give a reasonable answer to most questions based on my experience as a social science researcher, the fact is, I have uncovered the bottom line reasons WHY humans behave the way they do in personal relationships, especially when sex* can become a factor. So I also typically take time to emphasize the importance of knowing WHY humans behave the way they do in personal relationships.
Knowing why is extremely important because it opens a psychological pathway for humans to routinely benefit by one of the most basic principles in all of mammalian society. Namely, the principle of acquiring less pain – more pleasure from virtually all personal relationships. And when you read my book you will find as human mammals go this includes the more cognitive influences on human behavior as well.
*(Sex, you see, is a most poignant common denominator between human social behavior and the social behavior of all the other mammals on the earth. I maintain that directly or even very IN directly it is sex, the potential for it (or lack of it) that plays a role in most issues that arise in human personal relationships.)
Meanwhile, it is your own common sense, a reasonable level of reading comprehension, and at least some interaction with the opposite gender as well as follow the support venues I produce that will provide most of what you need in order to understand, apply, and otherwise benefit by the tenets (secrets) revealed in “The Mammalian Way” as to what you might do (and not do) to improve the overall quality of your life in personal relationships.
TO THAT END: Allow me to be your guide as you enjoy another segment of PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP THERAPY.
Keep in mind I am a Social Theorist not a therapist. Much of my research is centered on innate or instinctive human behavior and my theory was initially constructed to support those who administer therapy to others such as psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and the likes.
Moreover, unless they have read my very simple work that contains a truly original theory of why we have much of the issues we do within “Love Interest” type relationships between the genders, the professors usually stop short of explaining the question, WHY.
Meanwhile, the material I share can be quite therapeutic because I have uncovered the bottom line root of WHY most of the issues between men & women exist.
From my research I eventually constructed a theory that was gleaned from direct interaction with thousands of people (in small groups as well as one on one encounters.) over a relatively long period of time (approx. 30 years).
In that time, I sometimes gave advice in the form of suggestions as to what might be done to improve a particular person’s situation(s) that they were in. I kept low key and only made suggestions where I knew I could follow up. I did this for two main reasons.
One, most of the people I discussed my research with are/were licensed therapists who specialized in one area of psychology-sociology or another. Two, most of the people I researched data from HAD NO IDEA I WAS TAKING NOTES ON OUR ENCOUNTER.
This methodology turned up some amazing things. For example, one thing I discovered was, most “people” ask questions, give opinions, and then display behavior that was most often in direct conflict** with what they told me. **(In other words, most people will lie to themselves, usually to satisfy the more cognitive or semantic influences of human behavior, including romance, then proceed to act out typical mammalian behavior often to the full as if drawn to it.)
The conflict occurred most often and regardless of their socio-economic-cultural or educational background and whether it was a part of one on one encounters or a mixed gender group. This is also how I knew I was on to something huge and something viable although early on I was not intent on an entire new theory that provides all professional therapists et. al. with a more complete paradigm of behavioral psychology.
I constructed a theory that is based upon one assumption and takes into account all or nearly all of the encounters that heterosexual human men & women can experience. Given the diversity of human encounters and their potential for peculiar behavior any theory that proposes a collective answer is at least an ambitious undertaking. This is why it took decades to complete.
The segment titled “Relationship Therapy” is an exercise area where personal relationship issues are shared and then we discuss the issue with respect to the many tenets of the theory I constructed that is part of what you will find when you read my book titled, “The Mammalian Way”. In order to receive the full value of the relationship therapy you need to use my book as a point of reference. You can buy the printed cover version for only $19.95 or the PDF file version of the book for as little as only $5.00 US Go to www.themammalianway.com
I do not encourage comments on this blog. However, if you wish to contact me use firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet me @garyjames
Copyright (C) Gary James 2010 all rights reserved
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
You are at www.garyjamesblogs.com
SHE IS A MEN’S ADVOCATE in the dating world and goes by the name “DT”. She has been a featured guest on many relationship talk shows including mine. DT will soon release a book called “The Formula”.
Click here to visit her web site dating tips for men
Monday, September 21st, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
What does the late Yale student Annie Le, Raymond Clark, and “The Mammalian Way” have in common? Tons of instinctive behavior that’s what.
A recent comment made by one of my readers about my book titled, “The Mammalian Way (TMW)”™ was, “It’s a ground zero for everything in relationships”. And as word spreads about the merits of applying this knowledge into the everyday lives of an earth wide population I see now that is a great way to sum up “TMW”.
Unfortunately, no one told Yale student Annie Le or her alleged murderer Raymond Clark. Had either of them known even the least of the tenets of “TMW” that tend to control human instinctive behavior as they interact with each other throughout life it is more than possible that Annie Le would still be alive and Raymond Clark would not be headed to trial for murder.
How do I know this? Let’s take Raymond Clark as an example. In my book I maintain that all heterosexual males have a very powerful instinctive need to be honored. This need is not something that can be controlled only dealt with through some sort of satiation of the need. This only becomes an issue because we live in a world that is imperfectly safe to a great degree and this also makes it near impossible for men to receive adequate honor to satiate the drive.
If a man happens to be in an environment not conducive to honor satiation he will automatically and instinctively deploy a psychological defense mechanism I call *“Perversions of Honor”. That is to say, a man will do things that might otherwise be deemed dishonorable in order to receive a form of false honor that will somewhat satiate his otherwise insatiable need to receive honor. And, if he does not get even a “perversion of honor” over a long enough time he can easily become a walking time bomb of pent up frustration.
So what is it that can set off this bomb? Why an untimely “dis” to his honor. And if that untimely dis comes from a woman it is tantamount to a *”Double Dis” and if there is even the slightest animosity between he and she at the time, this can easily send a man into a brief torrent frenzy of extreme aggressive behavior.
*[For a complete understanding of “Perversions of Honor” and “Double Dis” see the book titled, “The Mammalian Way”™]
Had Annie Le knew of these facts or if Raymond had been taught the type of circumstances that could occur that might make him susceptible to such aggressive then she/he could have instituted the simple measures outlined in the book to avoid & diffuse such situations in the first place.
There are many advantages to knowing “The Mammalian Way”. I recommend that everyone who routinely interacts with other people read my book and use the information there as a point of reference to optimize the benefits of every relationship you encounter no matter how insignificant that it may seem.
Meanwhile, I maintain that unless something changes in the way that men are currently being socialized and/or rehabilitated in our culture we can all expect a dramatic increase in outbursts of extreme aggressive behavior in relationships from men. CAVEAT!
I do not encourage comments here. However, you may email me privately at, email@example.com I am the only one who reads that mail.
copyright (C) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.
Sunday, August 30th, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
He’s moving too fast, he constantly talks about an ex, he’s reluctant to be seen with you in public. These are elements of a distinct pattern of social behavior in relationships between men and women that could lead to the cognitive conclusion, HE’S NOT THE ONE”!….But, then again, these behavior patterns might mean that maybe he is. Why the conflict?
It’s because these behavior patterns in a man* could mean he’s on the rebound (and you’re the re-bounder, and that alone could be a good or bad thing.) Or, it could mean he’s cheating on someone and using you as the cheating device. OR, it could be perfectly normal behavior for him as a part of his process to become socialized into another or even a more committed relationship. (*The same behavior patterns in a woman, often means something entirely different.)
So if you are a woman and the evident love interest of a man with such a pattern of behavior and you’re trying your best to discern the psychology of men or of women, does this mean you just shrug your shoulders, hope for the best and go along for the ride? Well, that is certainly one way to go. However, there is a much safer alternative.
Now days it is vital for someone who values their own heart & self esteem, who wants more pleasure and less pain out of everyday life, that they necessarily need to be able to drill down through the cognitive and be able to read a man or a woman’s instinctive behavior patterns known as, “The Mammalian Way”™.
The importance of this is because human instinctive behavior patterns, once you know how to read them are the ones that reveal the “truest” picture of human behavior, including gender specific issues, communication differences in interpersonal relationships, and the likes, for what they actually mean.
From Sigmund Freud to Dr. Phil, most people who use psychology as a part of their career will tell you that instinctive behavior has a tendency to be at the root of what controls human behavior. “The Mammalian Way”™ points out how to discern such behavior and what it means from the gender specific perspective, especially when it comes to social behavior between men and women in relationships.
In other words, the information conveyed in the pages of, “The Mammalian Way”™ will provide women with a tool to really get a sense for if the one you’re with or the one you want to be with, is he the one or not?
copyright (c) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved
Friday, August 28th, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
….when a woman verbally or even non verbally disses a man in the instinctive behavioral areas such as his sex drive and his drive for honor simultaneously, she can be putting herself at serious risk….
The circumstances between model/actress Jasmine Fiore and the reality show contestant Ryan Jenkins are a prime example of how instinctive drives related to “The Mammalian Way”™ can work against the human condition when it fuels rage. However, in the case of behavior as extreme as murder-suicide, it always has a cognitive (learned behavior) connection as well. But it is also mostly due to a huge lack of understanding about “The Mammalian Way”™. Such is the basis for most of the conflict known as, “The War of the Sexes”.
Other than humans, all male mammals would never murder his female and then kill him self. Rather, he would run off all the other males who are after his female, and in the process he might kill one of them.
That is normal male mammal behavior. The drive to behave that way is wired into each and every human male born. Men can be quite volatile when some other guy tries to move in on a female he sees as “his own”. It’s natural mammalian instinctive behavior to do so. But to kill her in the process of running off the other males, that’s strictly learned behavior, and this volatile behavior is not uncommon between men and women in relationships, when they deal with relationships issues, although it usually does not end in death.
Meanwhile, the psychology of women, especially those who see themselves as “empowered women” tends to negate the fact that men are instinctively wired to behave very different than women when it comes to social behavior in relationships.
Unless you’ve read my book titled, “The Mammalian Way” it is easy to assume that a woman in a relationship can dis a man to the same degree that she might accept a dis and that her behavior is socially acceptable. And perhaps this is so. Believe it or not, like it or not, when a woman verbally or even non verbally disses a man in the instinctive behavioral areas such as his sex drive and his drive for honor simultaneously, she can be putting herself at serious risk. Case in point is the Jasmine Fiore-Ryan Jenkins matter. We’ve heard the psychatrists and other professionals analyze the behavior of the couple and even draw some conclusions.
But what if the professionals are all analyzing such behavior as murder-suicide using the same incomplete paradigm? What if the behavior between Jazmine Fiore & Ryan Jenkins, or, Steve McNair-Sahel Kazemi could have been predicted and/or averted? What if either one in either of the pairs knew how to discern the difference between a lovers quarrel and potential disaster, as well as where & how such behavior emanates? It’s very much about human psychological defense mechanisms (one for women, one for men) designed to protect us from harm, but because of certain circumstances the defense mechanism that helps us to contend with our instinctive behavior somehow goes awry. What then?…
You truly need to read the book “The Mammalian Way”. Do not be deceived. Know how to see the danger OR the love. Be safe AND happier.
copyright (c) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved
Thursday, July 9th, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
From what I’ve read thus far, the Steve McNair-Sahel Kazemi story is a prime example of “The Mammalian Way” instincts gone haywire. The problem is it is very unlikely that either Steve McNair or Sahel Kazemi were even slightly aware that “The Mammalian Way” instincts might be working against them. And now they never will.
If either of them would have had just a general understanding of how the mammalian way instincts operate it is possible they could have resolved their issues instead of how they exploded in their lives.
“The Mammalian Way” instincts are in part elaborate psychological defense mechanisms that can manifest in someone’s life to protect them in a situation where their environment is perceived to be imperfectly safe.
Men and women instinctively react to these various environments quite differently and unless you are aware of how to read it (which is a relatively simple thing to do) it can cause an implosion of the psychological mechanism and that can lead to extreme volatile behavior.
In their case, evidently, a man’s honor was dissed or even double dissed (See “The Mammalian Way” for an explanation of double dis) and he became defensive. This reaction created a sense of insecurity in the woman that likely reached both poles of her insecurity pendulum swing. (See “The Mammalian Way” for an understanding of “The Pendulum swing of Insecurity”.)
This can often become a closed trap, or cycle of behavior but instead of the two defense mechanisms working in concert (i.e., for the benefit of the relationship) it can work against a relationship by perpetually escalating the negative aspects of human mammalian behavior. I have seen this phenomena occur in relationships many times.
And this can lead to violence such as the apparent murder-suicide of the pair.
My book “The Mammalian Way” is an interesting read. The information conveyed is greatly needed by professionals and everyday folk alike, who engage in any type of relationship. It can help perfect’ relationships you forge and they can help you survive “day to day” living in an imperfectly safe world.
My prayers go out to the Mcnair and Kazemi families.
I do not encourage comments here. If you have input or questions you can email me, firstname.lastname@example.org I am the only one who reads that mail.
Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
…The issue is, our instinctive behavior now runs a constant collision course with our learned behavior. It’s an earth wide issue and over the last few decades at least it has brought the human condition face to face with it’s own existence….
“What Is He Thinking? Sanford Violates All Rules of Sex Scandal”. This is one of the headlines Fox News used in reporting on Governor Mark Sanford’s admission he sees his love interest from Argentina as his “Soul Mate”.
According to the theories I developed over many years and now bring to the world via this blog and my book titled, “The Mammalian Way” What Governor Mark Sanford was thinking has nothing to do with it.
What he’s actually facing that brought him to behavior that would violate the “rules of political sex scandal” is the everyday conflict that he along with billions of other male and female human mammals face earth wide within their relationships, especially their most inimate ones. And love does not necessarily have anything to do with it. According to my life long research this is swiftly becoming a fact of current day human existence.
In my book, “The Mammalian Way” I share through two new workable theories that brings a more complete big picture paradigm into the social sciences. I maintain that humans have instinctively developed over a long period of time two elaborate psychological defense mechanisms (one for women, one for men) that help us to contend with moment to moment survival amongst one another who have no choice but to live in an imperfectly safe world (environment). The main issue is, these defense mechanisms are now “trying” to modify our instinctive behavior such that it now runs a constant collision course with our learned behavior. It’s an earth wide issue and over the last few decades at least it has brought the human condition face to face with it’s own existence.
It boiled down to a discovery I made that took nearly three decades to piece together that lead to my authoring a couple new theories that render to the world a more complete paradigm in the social sciences. I call them “The Pendulum Swing of Insecurity” for women and “Perversions of Honor” for men.
How & why did this happen? The theory is quite simple in concept. There are two very elaborate psychological defense mechanisms unconsciously created & developed by human kind over a long period of time in order to contend with mostly instinctive behavior patterns as they emerge from the inner most area of the human condition into an ever increasing “Imperfectly Safe World (ISW)”.
Ironically, although the “ISW” is an environment that seems to be a fact of life I am convinced it is an unnatural state for the human condition and not one that human’s were designed to live under indefinitely. I know this sounds a bit existential but I am certain the issue lies in the conflict between human instinctive and human learned behavior, and it can be readily seen by observation of the defense mechanisms at work, as humans act out instinctive behavior that comes natural to all mammals.
Behavior I refer to as, “The Mammalian Way”. In essence, my book is an introduction to the defense mechanism’s story.
As for Governor Mark Sanford, if he would have read my work before he met his wife I doubt he would be dealing with what he’s got to deal with now. Bye for now.
I do not encourage comments on this blog. If you wish, you may email me, email@example.com just copy and paste. I am the only one who reads that mail.
Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
….the theories indirectly pose very definite answers to many of the more pervasive questions that have become a part of human culture. Questions such as, “Why do good girls like bad boys”? “Why do Men only seem to want one thing”? “Why are Women so difficult to figure out”? and more….
Professionally, my background is production. (TV, film, standard grass roots stuff, etc) Whatever legitimate way I could pay the bills.
Along that journey I discovered I had an ability to write and share useful information about relationships. (A spin off from a wider endeavor called Social Theory)
This has spawned from me a book that literally adds two new workable theories to the big picture paradigm in the social sciences. I discovered that humans have instinctively developed over a long period of time two elaborate psychological defense mechanisms (one for women, one for men) that help us to contend with moment to moment survival amongst one another who have no choice but to live in an imperfectly safe world (environment). The issue is, our instinctive behavior now runs a constant collision course with our learned behavior. It’s an earth wide issue and over the last few decades at least it has brought the human condition face to face with it’s own existence.
The question can be asked then, is there hope for humans? I say yes, absolutely. It just takes a little understanding of what we often take for granted (our behavior) and a little application of that understanding to make our lives, and especially our relationships with others more perfect under the circumstances we each face day to day.
On a lighter note, the interesting part (and why the book is worth the resources spent to read it) is the theories indirectly pose very definite answers to many of the open ended and more pervasive questions that have become a part of human culture. Questions such as, “Why do good girls like bad boys”? “Why do Men only seem to want one thing”? “Why are Women so difficult to figure out”? and more.
OR, TO PUT IT ANOTHER WAY,
Application of the information shared in the book, “The Mammalian Way” will help to take away the pain or potential pain often associated with personal relationships and brought about because we are conditioned by our own society’s socialization process to “MISREAD” the actions and reactions of people’s instinctive behavior and especially the behavior of the opposite sex. Still, this book is not necessarily for everyone.
However, it is:
FOR ANYONE WHO FEELS LIKE THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST “WRONG” FOR THEM!
For women who feel they needed to “decide” between marrying safe and the Za za Zoom of love.
For men who get their heart broken every time they get into a relationship…and they have no idea the real reason(s) why?
For anyone who has come home to find an empty house or apartment because their “Love” interest has left them and can never provide a tangible explanation as to why?
For anyone who has heard the words, “I just don’t love you any more” spoken from the one who was supposed to be their “soul mate”.
For people who wish to avoid the “control freak” “Fatal Attraction” syndrome in relationships.
For people who are in a long term relationship and the “Za Za ZOOM” feeling that made it worth while in the first place has somehow evaporated.
For people who were burned in relationships to the point they now think that relationships, just like love….stinks!
For men who think that to approach women using the age old “numbers Game”, i.e., the more women you directly approach the greater the probability of meeting a woman willing to go out with you….is still the way to meet women….
For women who know, “Men only want one thing”, but can’t figure out much of anything else about men beyond that (and often do not admit it).
For women who constantly fake orgasm to keep him happy then masturbate for sexual release.
For women who “turned” gay or Bi in order to achieve true intimacy in the physical aspects of a relationship.
For men who think that they are the ones who “pick up women”.
For men who are phobic enough to not engage in conversations with women about subjects such as the Vagina, etc.
For men who are phobic enough about their manhood that they will not take the lead in a relationship with a woman. (For men who do not know enough or even how to take the lead in a relationship in the first place.)
For anyone who has cheated or been cheated on and wants to change that behavior.
For women and for men who truly want a relationship as perfect as possible.
For anyone who has been in or does not want to be in an abusive relationship.
For anyone who wants to improve their love (includes sex) life
For men who have never had “A” grade sex in their life (and probably does not even know what that means).
For anyone who loves “Love & Romance” but is afraid to trust it.
For anyone who materially “has it all” (house, business, condo at the beach, plenty money, trophy spouse, cars, etc) but senses that there is still something missing from your life….Something that you can’t quite put your finger on (pin point).
For anyone who wants their sex life to be fun and therapeutic.
For anyone who relates to what is conveyed here but has not read one specific to you.
Plus, as you learn to see and to utilize your new understanding of the Mammalian Way people become more predictable and tolerable because you will possess a more complete paradigm of “WHY” people behave the way they do, even when they don’t. Especially when that behavior runs contrary to what the social norms and mores of our culture might dictate.
All & all, understanding the Mammalian Way will provide you with a more tangible sense of peace and harmony with yourself and with others…and a silent ability, uniquely human trait that can be used to keep your world a physical & emotionally safer place to live. This is because human instinctive behavior that make up the Mammalian Way is predictable.
I do not encourage comments here. If you wish you may email me firstname.lastname@example.org I am the only one who reads email sent there.
Copyright (c) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved