“The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became to each other”.
This sentence spoken on the show 20/20 by Pop Star Rihanna is an accurate summation of what the instinctive behavior known as “The Mammalian Way” can do to you, your relationship, and others, IF & When you do not know that you and others are being massively affected by instinctive behavior patterns over which you have very little direct control. This is especially true if you have no idea that “The Mammalian Way” exists. And so it is for Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their relationship ended because neither of them are aware of how deeply “The Mammalian Way” can influence presumed loving behaior and create issues in a relarionship.
Photo by: Lester Cohen / WireImage
The fact is, everyone who is human must contend with the tenets of “The Mammalian Way” or you can satiate the forces that drive it, especially if your relationship entails an element of sex & romance.
However, you dare not ignore “The Mammalian Way”. Otherwise, you can end up like Rihanna and Chris Brown…..Or worse. For example, Steve McNair and Sahel Kazemi. Steve & Sahel’s relationship issues also emanated from “The Mammalian Way” of things but it ended in extreme violence, namely, murder-suicide. SO, the issues between Rihanna and Chris Brown could have been worse.
Rihanna was also quoted as saying “There was no person when I looked at him” during the fight they had where Chris admitted he physically abused Rihanna.
This stands to reason. It is a well documented fact that when men are in love with a woman as beautiful as Rihanna men can get very possessive, very quickly. That is the typical portrayal of the everyday behavior indicative of “The Mammalian Way” (TMW). But when possessive behavior is coupled with fame (for him and/or her) it further ferments both major tenets of my original theory. 1) The male “Perversions of Honor” (POH)* that persist in our culture in men and 2) It further exacerbates a woman’s massive sense of insecurity called “Pendulum Swing of Insecurity” (PSOI)*, a polarized condition that continually resonates between a woman’s cognitive emotion and the primal. Again, when coupled with fame she is liable to seem well under control (cognitive) but is prone to eventually engage in most any type of dangerous and destructive behavior (an aspect of “TMW”) because this behavior feeds the female mammalian instinct to be protected & dominated by the dangerous male.
Frankly, I am reasonably certain this is the precarious position Rihanna now finds herself in. Rihanna is on the brink of self destruction.
Meanwhile, when men feel the affects of “Double Dis”* compounded by the influences that fame brings him in his relationships his primal instinct to have her simply cease the overt behavior to challenge him and to submit to him becomes quite acute.
Since submitting (in our current culture) is unlikely to happen it is best for people in relationships where the mammalian way becomes a factor which is almost always the case where sex can become a factor, it is best for people in relationships to realize what instinctive forces they are dealing with and abate them as much as possible. Prior knowledge of the forces is the key.
This way a couple involved as deeply as Rihanna & Chris Brown were, can more easily and consistently make a resolve then they can go straight to the make up sex. Also, this way, relationships have a better chance of survival without the assault and battery that has become so pervasive in our culture.
What does the late Yale student Annie Le, Raymond Clark, and “The Mammalian Way” have in common? Tons of instinctive behavior that’s what.
A recent comment made by one of my readers about my book titled, “The Mammalian Way (TMW)”™ was, “It’s a ground zero for everything in relationships”. And as word spreads about the merits of applying this knowledge into the everyday lives of an earth wide population I see now that is a great way to sum up “TMW”.
Unfortunately, no one told Yale student Annie Le or her alleged murderer Raymond Clark. Had either of them known even the least of the tenets of “TMW” that tend to control human instinctive behavior as they interact with each other throughout life it is more than possible that Annie Le would still be alive and Raymond Clark would not be headed to trial for murder.
How do I know this? Let’s take Raymond Clark as an example. In my book I maintain that all heterosexual males have a very powerful instinctive need to be honored. This need is not something that can be controlled only dealt with through some sort of satiation of the need. This only becomes an issue because we live in a world that is imperfectly safe to a great degree and this also makes it near impossible for men to receive adequate honor to satiate the drive.
If a man happens to be in an environment not conducive to honor satiation he will automatically and instinctively deploy a psychological defense mechanism I call *“Perversions of Honor”. That is to say, a man will do things that might otherwise be deemed dishonorable in order to receive a form of false honor that will somewhat satiate his otherwise insatiable need to receive honor. And, if he does not get even a “perversion of honor” over a long enough time he can easily become a walking time bomb of pent up frustration.
So what is it that can set off this bomb? Why an untimely “dis” to his honor. And if that untimely dis comes from a woman it is tantamount to a *”Double Dis” and if there is even the slightest animosity between he and she at the time, this can easily send a man into a brief torrent frenzy of extreme aggressive behavior.
Had Annie Le knew of these facts or if Raymond had been taught the type of circumstances that could occur that might make him susceptible to such aggressive then she/he could have instituted the simple measures outlined in the book to avoid & diffuse such situations in the first place.
There are many advantages to knowing “The Mammalian Way”. I recommend that everyone who routinely interacts with other people read my book and use the information there as a point of reference to optimize the benefits of every relationship you encounter no matter how insignificant that it may seem.
Meanwhile, I maintain that unless something changes in the way that men are currently being socialized and/or rehabilitated in our culture we can all expect a dramatic increase in outbursts of extreme aggressive behavior in relationships from men. CAVEAT!
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copyright (C) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.
….when a woman verbally or even non verbally disses a man in the instinctive behavioral areas such as his sex drive and his drive for honor simultaneously, she can be putting herself at serious risk….
The circumstances between model/actress Jasmine Fiore and the reality show contestant Ryan Jenkins are a prime example of how instinctive drives related to “The Mammalian Way”™ can work against the human condition when it fuels rage. However, in the case of behavior as extreme as murder-suicide, it always has a cognitive (learned behavior) connection as well. But it is also mostly due to a huge lack of understanding about “The Mammalian Way”™. Such is the basis for most of the conflict known as, “The War of the Sexes”.
Other than humans, all male mammals would never murder his female and then kill him self. Rather, he would run off all the other males who are after his female, and in the process he might kill one of them.
That is normal male mammal behavior. The drive to behave that way is wired into each and every human male born. Men can be quite volatile when some other guy tries to move in on a female he sees as “his own”. It’s natural mammalian instinctive behavior to do so. But to kill her in the process of running off the other males, that’s strictly learned behavior, and this volatile behavior is not uncommon between men and women in relationships, when they deal with relationships issues, although it usually does not end in death.
Meanwhile, the psychology of women, especially those who see themselves as “empowered women” tends to negate the fact that men are instinctively wired to behave very different than women when it comes to social behavior in relationships.
Unless you’ve read my book titled, “The Mammalian Way” it is easy to assume that a woman in a relationship can dis a man to the same degree that she might accept a dis and that her behavior is socially acceptable. And perhaps this is so. Believe it or not, like it or not, when a woman verbally or even non verbally disses a man in the instinctive behavioral areas such as his sex drive and his drive for honor simultaneously, she can be putting herself at serious risk. Case in point is the Jasmine Fiore-Ryan Jenkins matter. We’ve heard the psychatrists and other professionals analyze the behavior of the couple and even draw some conclusions.
But what if the professionals are all analyzing such behavior as murder-suicide using the same incomplete paradigm? What if the behavior between Jazmine Fiore & Ryan Jenkins, or, Steve McNair-Sahel Kazemi could have been predicted and/or averted? What if either one in either of the pairs knew how to discern the difference between a lovers quarrel and potential disaster, as well as where & how such behavior emanates? It’s very much about human psychological defense mechanisms (one for women, one for men) designed to protect us from harm, but because of certain circumstances the defense mechanism that helps us to contend with our instinctive behavior somehow goes awry. What then?…
You truly need to read the book “The Mammalian Way”. Do not be deceived. Know how to see the danger OR the love. Be safe AND happier.
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com I do not encourage comments here. Email firstname.lastname@example.org OR, http://www.twitter.com/garyjames OR, click the link to buy my book titled, “The Mammalian Way”.
Could the injuries & fatalities that occurred on 8-4-09 at the LAfitness club near Bridgeville, PA have been avoided? Possibly. That is if Sodini or who ever he went to for therapy (If he went to therapy) new about the true issues that surround human instinctive behavior, behavior I call, “The Mammalian Way”.
From what I’ve read in his blog, George Sodini’s behavior is directly related to a lack of knowledge about a most important psychological-sociological discovery I made about human unlearned behavior. For men, they have an extraordinary intense & instinctive need for honor & sex. (And it’s very different for men than women.)
I mention the fact it’s different for men and women because I have found if you want to help humans make a reasonably permanent and positive change in their behavior then such modification begins with an understanding of how each gender responds to their own set of instincts, especially the ones that effect social behavior.
For example, most people who read my book, “The Mammalian Way” are initially surprised to learn that between sex & honor it’s men’s sense of honor drive that typically causes men the most trouble and causes the most pain in their lives. And whether you are a long time licensed therapist (psychiatrist, psychologist, social counselor, etc) or an ordinary civilian who interacts with other people, you need to read my book and learn about the theory I developed over several decades. Why?
Because, so long as we live in an increasingly unsafe world without such knowledge you will have an ever increasing probability and more risk of pain in your life, pain that can be avoided. Such was the case for George Sodini as well as 3 dead and several other injured women. The mammalian way of things, that I am certain is at the root of that tragedy bit them bad.
From what I’ve read thus far, the Steve McNair-Sahel Kazemi story is a prime example of “The Mammalian Way” instincts gone haywire. The problem is it is very unlikely that either Steve McNair or Sahel Kazemi were even slightly aware that “The Mammalian Way” instincts might be working against them. And now they never will.
If either of them would have had just a general understanding of how the mammalian way instincts operate it is possible they could have resolved their issues instead of how they exploded in their lives.
“The Mammalian Way” instincts are in part elaborate psychological defense mechanisms that can manifest in someone’s life to protect them in a situation where their environment is perceived to be imperfectly safe.
Men and women instinctively react to these various environments quite differently and unless you are aware of how to read it (which is a relatively simple thing to do) it can cause an implosion of the psychological mechanism and that can lead to extreme volatile behavior.
In their case, evidently, a man’s honor was dissed or even double dissed (See “The Mammalian Way” for an explanation of double dis) and he became defensive. This reaction created a sense of insecurity in the woman that likely reached both poles of her insecurity pendulum swing. (See “The Mammalian Way” for an understanding of “The Pendulum swing of Insecurity”.)
This can often become a closed trap, or cycle of behavior but instead of the two defense mechanisms working in concert (i.e., for the benefit of the relationship) it can work against a relationship by perpetually escalating the negative aspects of human mammalian behavior. I have seen this phenomena occur in relationships many times.
And this can lead to violence such as the apparent murder-suicide of the pair.
My book “The Mammalian Way” is an interesting read. The information conveyed is greatly needed by professionals and everyday folk alike, who engage in any type of relationship. It can help perfect’ relationships you forge and they can help you survive “day to day” living in an imperfectly safe world.
My prayers go out to the Mcnair and Kazemi families.
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