Archive for the ‘relationships problems’ Category
Monday, August 6th, 2012
Gentlemen: THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE ALPHA MALE TRAIT: That is, DOES SHE (the woman you sleep with or want to) PERCEIVE YOUR BEHAVIOR TOWARD HER AS POWERFUL in that it makes her feel safer? If so, then HER INSTINCTS will “see” you as an alpha male…. If not, then her instincts WILL reject you. This is the key to the social norm known as “A Man’s World”…. In other words, it's Still A Man's World…. because HER INSTINCTS say so… and that never changes….
I am starting a new audio series titled, It's Still A Man's World….. For Men Only…
I am doing so because men have responded to my book,
The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) and this blog in much greater numbers than I first expected…
However, women might also find it interesting because it will give you a perspective on what I say to and how I communicate with other heterosexual men….
Sunday, July 29th, 2012
The audio is about what to do to make sure you are mostly dealing with his honor instinct that in turn opens the way for the Fairytale to become a reality….
Attention Ladies: The principal recording for the first of the audio series is complete. I am now preparing it for distribution.
Titled Honor Vs Egotism in Men, I am positive it is the most important audio of the series. Why? Because the information crosses over into most of the other categories AND it goes to the heart of why women suffer being in a relationship where she does not know if or how to trust the guy she’s involved with.
All heterosexual men are prone to having enormous egos that can pass as honor. The line between the two, honor vs egotism is very small but the difference to a woman’s life in a relationship with a man is tremendous. If you are involved with a man who’s instinct for honor takes precedent over his egotism within his relationship with you then you have a strong mammalian connection with him and the Fairytale aspect of your relationship with him can certainly become a reality.
However, if you are directly or indirectly dealing with his egotism then no matter how great the sex is, or how much you love him (for example) the relationship has no chance for long term survival.
The audio is about what to do to make sure you are mostly dealing with his honor instinct that in turn opens the way for the Fairytale to become a reality….
The importance of your understanding Honor Vs Egotism in men is simple. Women pick men for a personal relationship, men do not pick women AND men derive their truest identity in a relationship from Y-O-U… And that never changes.
Meanwhile, men are slaves to their animal-mammal instincts and the instinctive honorable behavior that women want to see in a man is already in him and it just needs to be prompted out.
So keep on the lookout for the release date… get your copy, be informed, and insure the Fairytale becomes a reality…
Tuesday, June 26th, 2012
[Unless you read my book you might not understand this article. Go to www.themammalianway.com to obtain a copy]
It is obvious at a glance that John Edwards likes women who are “emotionally needy” or right on the border of it in their personal relationships with men…. this can cause a woman to quickly fall in love and usually with a man who is very wrong for her life. The lives of Elizabeth Edwards and Rielle Hunter exude such a state…
However, it can actually be an excellent mammalian fit… He gets honored by her and then some…. while she gets a sense of security by being with a man of action… (BTW, he does not need to be a celebrity, a politician, or the likes. He just needs to convey a sense of power….. according to “her” perceptions of it…)
Beyond their emotional neediness…the other thing is, Elizabeth was and Rielle is a Purely Mammalian Woman… Insensitive A-Hole men are well advised to avoid such women IF you do not know what the “F” you’re doing with them because gentlemen, a Purely Mammalian Woman can bring you down fast and make it YOUR idea… even if you didn't cheat…
John Edwards evidently does not know anything about The Mammalian Way™ (TMW). And that’s too bad because he strikes me as an intelligent man who just never bothered to truly pay attention to women enough in order to learn how women instinctively behave when Girl Meets Guy…
If he had such knowledge he would not be in the emotional state of Double Dis (no sex and no honor to mention) that he is in right now.
The situation between Rielle & John is a classic example of what can happen in the early stages of any heterosexual Girl Meets Guy encounter.
She picked him and told him as much… She saw him as he walked around the corner of a building and was immediately attracted to him to the point that she said to him…. “You’re Hot!”
He was honored by her to the point that he not only had sex with her but he took her inside his covenant and risked everything to be with her…. [This is what tells me that John was NOT getting any unmitigated sex or honor (attention) from Elizabeth. If he had, Rielle might not have got him into bed let alone into his life….]
Meanwhile, under the circumstances that existed then, she opened up to him "like no other" and basically gave him her treasures
This honored him even more and so he made even deeper commitments.
Now we have a classic example of the A-B Roll meshing of a man’s honor with a woman’s need for safety… This is what caused the mammalian connection between them. A mammal connection can become strong enough to even supersede love because it IS the place where love attaches itself deep down inside of a human being in order for love to grow….
NOW, if they are/were able to nurture the mammalian connection between them they might be able to stay together indefinitely but as it is now even with Quinn I doubt they will stay together because they both will likely use their Cognitive Capacity to interfere with TMW instincts and this will cause the instincts to reject the other as NOT THE ONE! Eventually their love will fade and the mammal connection will wither for lack of nurturing and they will split up…. As far as Quinn…. Who knows?
Best to you, Gary James author of The Mammalian Way…
Sunday, June 10th, 2012
IS HE REALLY A MINI ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER?
In an imperfectly safe world that most humans are raised in these days men find themselves prone to Perversions of Honor™ (POH). It is a coping mechanism that manifests in a plethora of ways out of a man’s deep instinctive emotional need for honor…. One of the ways POH manifests is through another mechanism that instead of being instinctive is a manufactured substitute for honor that emanates out of a man’s brain called men’s Fragile Male Ego(tism) or FME for short.
As for a woman who is involved in a personal relationship with a man, she is well advised to avoid his FME behavior (with the exception of sex) as much as she can as well as embrace his behavior derived from his genuine sense of honor… However in such activities as business his FME can be quite useful. So in one respect a man’s FME is a double edged sword. [This is also why a woman needs to know all she can about how The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) functions…because it helps answer all the relationship issues & questions you ladies ask yourself, because you will understand what his behavior means and what to do about it.]
Meanwhile, given the fact that people like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Simon Konecki are involved in business activities that require an armor clad ego as a pre requisite in order to survive in the businesses they are in, it is easy for Simon, Adele’s new guy to be seen as a mini Arnold…
However, since most men do not have a clue that their egotism and their honor are actually two very different motivators and not the same thing they almost always unconsciously take their FME motivated behavior into their personal relationships. And that is my take on Simon.
Mark my words, his interest in Adele is mostly business because he is a power monger just like Arnold and he will likely treat Adele in a very similar manner to how Arnold treats his wife, Maria Shriver. I might be wrong but I doubt it.
Ladies, look into the eyes of the men in each photo. Look deeeeep in… and you’ll see the power monger trait in BOTH Arnold & Simon. It boils down to the ability to lie to their selves intently enough that they are quite able to believe their own bullshit….
Now in businesses such as show business or the music business FME is a necessary trait for a man to have in order to deal with the slime ridden people that those businesses attract.…. But, when carried into a personal relationship FME is almost always death to a long term relationship. [The difference between FME & genuine Honor, and what to do about it is the topic of my soon to be released MP3 audio titled Honor vs Ego(tism)]
Anyway, I’m certain that Adele & Simon will not last long and the break up will be another painful experience for her even if she feels a sense of relief when their romantic relationship finally ends…. And that’s sad because it does not need to happen…
Monday, June 4th, 2012
Do any of you have relationship issues that seem to be irresolvable? Does he seem to be getting worse?
I have many of the answers to relationship issues that you need to know in order to avoid or fix things related to getting him to treat you better.
Why not take advantage of my private consultation offer while you still can? During the time I am producing the audio series that will itself be a very cost efficient way for you to receive relationship therapy I am offering my services at deep discounts.
I have never before made such an offer and it is not likely to happen again once the audio series is in place. Meanwhile,
We can set it up as a face to face meet, phone consultation, email, or texting. Contact me via the therapy email I have set up to manage your initial inquiries. Please use the email below…
Copy & paste garyjamesrelationshiptherapy@ yahoo.com and send me an email for more information.
I will also include a digital copy of my first book The Mammalian Way™ (TMW).
Best to you always,
Saturday, May 26th, 2012
… George told me he only paid attention to me because he “could see his second marriage going the same [bad] way as the first.”….
Most men have an aversion to talking about relationships.
However, since I also know that most men are hurting inside because they are in a constant state of “Double Dis” the fact I maintain that two people in a relationship can gain what they truly desire from the same relationship actually appeals to a man’s mind as well as his instincts but they also don’t believe that such a situation is possible.
As a result there are many men who tell me they have “given up trying” to figure her out or to be what she wants me to be. When they say such things to me I usually start to laugh and say “well then you might as well take a machete and just cut off your cock & balls…. Cuz you no longer need them.” That comment usually either ends the conversation abruptly or it opens a conversation between us about his relationship with his girlfriend or wife. Meanwhile,
I want to share with you about a guy who recently said to me that he had “given up trying.” I will call him George to protect his anonymity.
After George’s comment to me I gave him my usual remark and a conversation began. George eventually asked me, “Well what should I do then to get her to tell me what she wants?” My answer was, “George, it doesn’t work that way. Men are not supposed to figure out women. We are male mammals first and that fact can never escape you when you meet, date, mate with, marry, or otherwise interact with a woman.”
Since he had not yet read my book I knew he would not understand my answer so George said, “Well what the “F##K” does that mean?” I said, “Have you ever had a dog?” Then he laughed and said, “Yea, his name was JD.”
I asked, “Did you hug JD and love JD and open up to JD and were there times when you knew you could tell what he was probably thinking or feeling… and maybe times where you knew that he knew what you were thinking or feeling too”? George said, “Oh yea!” Then I asked, “Is JD still alive?” George said, “No.” I asked, “How did that make you feel?”
With a plain pale look on his face George quietly said, “I cried and I never cry.”
I said, “YEP!” “It’s because you had a cross species mammalian connection with JD and that connection caused the two of you to bond and that’s what made you & JD love each other unconditionally. And that’s why you cried when he died.”
George said, “so I should love my wife like my dog?” I said, “Not exactly. With a dog or other animal there is no Cognitive Capacity (CC) because unlike humans, animals have no power of reason to contend with. But with another human, especially a woman you are involved with there is your CC as well as her CC that figures into the mix.”
I went on to explain how easy it is for humans to use their CC to interfere with the intentions of the set of survival instincts I call The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) and how badly we can mess up a relationship with the opposite gender when we do.
I further explained that it was his inherent responsibility to use his CC in league with his mammal instincts in order to look after the well being of his wife, and then I added, “And that includes looking after her emotional well being by using your mammal instincts to open up to her mammal instincts just like you did with JD.”
At first I could tell that George did not like hearing the fact that he was responsible for his wife’s emotional well being so he started to ask me another question but then stopped in the middle of a sentence and asked, “How do I get a copy of your book?”
I told him and then I said, “George you are a rarity because most guys will not allow new information into their brain no matter how useful it might be!”
This prompted George to admit the real reason why he wanted the book and why he was willing to speak with me. It turns out he was married for 7 years and then his first wife divorced him. This was his second marriage of two years and his second wife was already on the brink of leaving. He only paid attention to me because he “could see his second marriage going the same [bad] way as the first.”
He bought the book and I also gave him a couple other suggestions. Then about two weeks later he called me and said, “Gary, you’re a genius.”
He went on, “What you shared with me not only makes sense, it worked!”
Sure it does and that’s because TMW is nature’s way to build and keep a relationship healthy, loving, and growing at the mammalian level of life. Moreover, George’s cognitive capacity (CC) is now in line with his mammal instincts as well as her mammal instincts. They were able to rejuvenate the mammalian connection that was formed at the beginning of their relationship, and when that happens, most relationship issues tend to fade away or dramatically diminish.
The discovery I made and the working model I constructed has never failed to produce positive results so long as you follow nature’s processes and you don’t allow your CC to interfere with following those processes.
It’s all about caring for each other’s needs at the most basic level and since the mammalian connection is the place where love grows, and bonding deepens, it’s also the reason why both people in a relationship can gain what they truly desire from the same relationship. And it gets easier & easier to do over time.
The book is an introduction and the audio series is a continuation of how to use TMW processes to benefit your life. Click here for products & services.
Sunday, May 13th, 2012
…long ago nature decided that NO human relationship can develop between a man and woman until SHE picks the male, and so it all begins with Y-O-U…
LADIES: Right up front allow me to explain I did not invent The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) . It is a gift from nature to all human beings, but many people do not know it exists… just yet. I discovered it, uncovered it, drafted a reasonable theory, and constructed a working model of how it operates on human social behavior. I did this in order to help you understand how to use it in your everyday life as the protection and the socialization tool it is meant to be.
But why even bother to care about making a mammalian connection with another human being? Actually you make mammalian connections all the time. Most of the ones your instincts initiate for you with other humans will disintegrate very quickly because we use our brain’s cognitive capacity to interfere with TMW’s processes. And that can be a good or bad thing…
On the other hand, most people have routinely formed a cross species mammalian connection with their pets (primarily dogs & cats). The mammalian connection is why pets respond to you and grow to love you. That’s because the mammalian connection between you and your dog or cat is the place where love grows. It’s a mammalian thing! And it works! It’s the lowest common denominator in building relationships with other mammals, and as your knowledge of TMW grows you are going to find that this mammal to mammal, mammal to animal relationship building tool includes human to human interaction.
As another example, there is a saying that goes, “when a stranger walks into your house watch the reaction that your kids and dogs have toward that stranger.” Whereby, if the dogs & kids don't like the stranger… then you should especially beware….
This “saying” comes from the fact that the dog establishes an accurate read on the stranger using their mammal instincts…. and so do the kids. Why the kids? Simple; kids do not develop a mature use of their cognitive capacity until they reach the age of 25. Kids rely much more on their mammal instincts. You just might not call it mammal instincts….
Meanwhile, mammalian connections are a normal occurrence for humans because we use them all the time. Part of what I uncovered in the process of discovering how TMW fully functions to help humans form relationship bonds with each other is how essential the mammalian connection is to building a solid relationship with the opposite gender. I discovered it’s the place where love & attraction attaches itself to in order to grow, and it’s also the place where monogamous bonding forms & grows. TMW over all is a very useful tool for quickly sifting through men without necessarily having to date them in order to find The One!
HOWEVER, as with most things in nature TMW follows very specific processes. And those processes need to be followed accordingly in order to achieve successful positive results. And that’s where we humans have managed to ““F” it up!”
We use (or rather we misuse) the cognitive capacity (CC) of our brain to interfere with TMW processes, especially in the area of Girl meets GUY; i.e., the act of meeting, dating, mating, and over all relationship building with the opposite gender.
And when we interfere with TMW process of Girl meets Guy the end result is usually a failed relationship because either her set of TMW instincts, his set of TMW instincts, or both sets of TMW instincts will reject either her, him, or both of you, as not being The One!
If & when YOUR instincts reject HIM, or HIS instincts reject YOU, then believe it or not, your CC or his CC becomes pretty much useless in turning the relationship back around. This one factor is the chief reason why there are so many relationships that start out as two people who are deeply in love only to end up as two people who cannot stand to look at each other. They interfered with or did not nurture the mammalian connection.
When the instincts reject you or him it damages or breaks the mammalian connection, because TMW connection needs to be nurtured, because the nurturing is what helps the love & attraction that attaches to the mammalian connection to take root and to grow.
It’s the damage to the mammalian connection that causes the love, attraction, commitment, monogamous bonding, etc. to fade which in turn causes the relationship to fail. FYI, this scenario is prevalent to relationships within human culture.
SO, why am I placing this blog in the messages to women category? BECAUSE, long ago nature decided that NO human relationship can develop between a man and a woman until SHE picks the male. And so it all begins with Y-O-U! And even though it is a social norm for men to do the asking the reality is, his process of asking no matter how flagrant is from the making of a mammalian connection perspective, essentially a showing off of his pretty feathers for the woman just like male birds do for the female birds.
HOWEVER, you picking him is only the first half of PART A for making a mammalian connection in the Girl meets Guy process. There’s much more about this extremely important relationship building information in the book and even more in the audio series.
ALSO, I am on a mission to help the generation of women alive now to become the first generation to utilize TMW as the socialization tool it was meant to be. It’s actually fun to learn to apply TMW into your everyday life. To date, every woman who has learned to apply TMW into their everyday lives has never returned to the old paradigm of thinking about relationships, especially with the opposite gender. It provides women (and men) with more happiness and less pain to be sure….
I humbly suggest you get the book and read it. I will also inform you each time I add an audio to the series…. knowledge of TMW is relationship power. Click here to read the book
Best to you….. Gary James
Friday, May 11th, 2012
…Using The Mammalian Way™ as a tool to profile a relationship, how to build or fix it, will not fail you because it is nature’s gift to human kind…
I can accurately profile any woman-man relationship in less than an hour everytime and I can teach Y-O-U to do it too…
It starts with you reading the book or listening to the audio series that supports the book titled,The Mammalian Way™ (TMW).
Thus far there has been a 100% success rate in people who improve their quality of life becasue when they apply the knowledge from the book into their everyday life they can "see" what's going on inside their own relationships.
The reason for such accuracy and success rate is because I did not invent TMW. It's nature's gift to human kind. That's why you can trust it… All I did was to discover it, then drafted a reasonable theory, and I built a workable model of how it fully functions. All I am is your teacher until you can stand on your own two feet.
Women and men both learn more about each other and the true nature of our needs….More to come….Best to you, Gary James.
Sunday, January 3rd, 2010
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
Given all the media hype about Tiger Wood’s love life who did not know that AT&T would drop his sponsorship. For the moment he is simply too hot & too risky to keep around given the way the media snoops into people’s private lives. Who knows what they might uncover next?
Meanwhile, as a relationships author I can tell you that none of what has gone on recently in Tiger’s life surprised me…not even a little bit. Rather, my contention is, it was probably some publicist or other type of Ad person who likely whispered into Tiger’s ear the benefits of the increased value to his stock should he get married, start a family, and become the quintessential “role model” for God knows who that motivated Tiger Woods to get married in the first place.
With that scenario as a likely influence, the overall estimate that Tiger’s love life will cost sports, endorsements, and his self currently sits at about 12 billion dollars. Talk about the ripple effect. But wait a minute, what about the fact he now no longer has to live the lie?
Prior to the news break about his true interest in women, socially speaking, who didn’t think of Tiger as a fortunate dweeb? But for the fact he could make a golf ball sing opera, cook breakfast, or just about anything else he wanted there is no way that Tiger Woods would get near the women he does. From a strict straight sexual male perspective and someone who has written a book* on the subject Tiger gets a resounding “BRAVO!” (*See book titled “The Mammalian Way”)
Not that I endorse infidelity because I don’t. Socially speaking, the fact is, Tiger had no business being married in the first place. The Bravo part is because he pulled it off for as long as he did. If Tiger would have the physical look of a Brad Pit I doubt the media would have allowed him to get away with the antics he did for nearly as long.
Financially speaking, Tiger needs on his team an advisor who can council his councilors about how to launch the career of a male sports super star where the fact he is a “playa” as an established fact of life. Tiger MUST now drop his image as a family man liaison between the craziness of big time sports & the average folk and pick up the “scepter of suave”. He can still be a role model to God knows who only he’ll have to add kids the caution about getting married before your time or getting married at all if “it’s” not in you.
Whoever he gets to advise him might even begin with getting him dates with women who can trace their lineage into royal blood or heiresses to major fortunes (for example, if someone could negotiate a Tiger Woods – Paris Hilton hook up it would bolster both of their careers straight into the stratosphere league of relationships I call, “The Untouchables”).
I do not know Tiger Woods personally but I do know he needs to read the information I have to share while he is still in sabbatical. But that’s another blog.
As I do not encourage comments here I invite you to email me. Gary.firstname.lastname@example.org I am the only one who reads mail sent there so feel free to speak your mind. OR, if you wish, call me. My phone is always busy so you will probably need to leave a message. I promise to get back with you usually within 24 hours. 412-378-1531
Copyright Gary James 2010 all rights reserved
Monday, November 9th, 2009
You are at www.garyjamesblogs.com
“The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became to each other”.
This sentence spoken on the show 20/20 by Pop Star Rihanna is an accurate summation of what the instinctive behavior known as “The Mammalian Way” can do to you, your relationship, and others, IF & When you do not know that you and others are being massively affected by instinctive behavior patterns over which you have very little direct control. This is especially true if you have no idea that “The Mammalian Way” exists. And so it is for Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their relationship ended because neither of them are aware of how deeply “The Mammalian Way” can influence presumed loving behaior and create issues in a relarionship.
Photo by: Lester Cohen / WireImage
The fact is, everyone who is human must contend with the tenets of “The Mammalian Way” or you can satiate the forces that drive it, especially if your relationship entails an element of sex & romance.
However, you dare not ignore “The Mammalian Way”. Otherwise, you can end up like Rihanna and Chris Brown…..Or worse. For example, Steve McNair and Sahel Kazemi. Steve & Sahel’s relationship issues also emanated from “The Mammalian Way” of things but it ended in extreme violence, namely, murder-suicide. SO, the issues between Rihanna and Chris Brown could have been worse.
Rihanna was also quoted as saying “There was no person when I looked at him” during the fight they had where Chris admitted he physically abused Rihanna.
This stands to reason. It is a well documented fact that when men are in love with a woman as beautiful as Rihanna men can get very possessive, very quickly. That is the typical portrayal of the everyday behavior indicative of “The Mammalian Way” (TMW). But when possessive behavior is coupled with fame (for him and/or her) it further ferments both major tenets of my original theory. 1) The male “Perversions of Honor” (POH)* that persist in our culture in men and 2) It further exacerbates a woman’s massive sense of insecurity called “Pendulum Swing of Insecurity” (PSOI)*, a polarized condition that continually resonates between a woman’s cognitive emotion and the primal. Again, when coupled with fame she is liable to seem well under control (cognitive) but is prone to eventually engage in most any type of dangerous and destructive behavior (an aspect of “TMW”) because this behavior feeds the female mammalian instinct to be protected & dominated by the dangerous male.
Frankly, I am reasonably certain this is the precarious position Rihanna now finds herself in. Rihanna is on the brink of self destruction.
Meanwhile, when men feel the affects of “Double Dis”* compounded by the influences that fame brings him in his relationships his primal instinct to have her simply cease the overt behavior to challenge him and to submit to him becomes quite acute.
Since submitting (in our current culture) is unlikely to happen it is best for people in relationships where the mammalian way becomes a factor which is almost always the case where sex can become a factor, it is best for people in relationships to realize what instinctive forces they are dealing with and abate them as much as possible. Prior knowledge of the forces is the key.
This way a couple involved as deeply as Rihanna & Chris Brown were, can more easily and consistently make a resolve then they can go straight to the make up sex. Also, this way, relationships have a better chance of survival without the assault and battery that has become so pervasive in our culture.
(* For further explanation read the book “The Mammalian Way”)
Head your relationship issues “off at the pass” by reading my book “The Mammalian Way”.
Meanwhile, look for more on Rihanna and Chris and other sub similar subjects.
I do not encourage comments on this blog. You can email me at email@example.com I am the only one who reads that email so feel free to lament.
Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved