Archive for the ‘relationships problems’ Category
Sunday, January 3rd, 2010
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
Given all the media hype about Tiger Wood’s love life who did not know that AT&T would drop his sponsorship. For the moment he is simply too hot & too risky to keep around given the way the media snoops into people’s private lives. Who knows what they might uncover next?
Meanwhile, as a relationships author I can tell you that none of what has gone on recently in Tiger’s life surprised me…not even a little bit. Rather, my contention is, it was probably some publicist or other type of Ad person who likely whispered into Tiger’s ear the benefits of the increased value to his stock should he get married, start a family, and become the quintessential “role model” for God knows who that motivated Tiger Woods to get married in the first place.
With that scenario as a likely influence, the overall estimate that Tiger’s love life will cost sports, endorsements, and his self currently sits at about 12 billion dollars. Talk about the ripple effect. But wait a minute, what about the fact he now no longer has to live the lie?
Prior to the news break about his true interest in women, socially speaking, who didn’t think of Tiger as a fortunate dweeb? But for the fact he could make a golf ball sing opera, cook breakfast, or just about anything else he wanted there is no way that Tiger Woods would get near the women he does. From a strict straight sexual male perspective and someone who has written a book* on the subject Tiger gets a resounding “BRAVO!” (*See book titled “The Mammalian Way”)
Not that I endorse infidelity because I don’t. Socially speaking, the fact is, Tiger had no business being married in the first place. The Bravo part is because he pulled it off for as long as he did. If Tiger would have the physical look of a Brad Pit I doubt the media would have allowed him to get away with the antics he did for nearly as long.
Financially speaking, Tiger needs on his team an advisor who can council his councilors about how to launch the career of a male sports super star where the fact he is a “playa” as an established fact of life. Tiger MUST now drop his image as a family man liaison between the craziness of big time sports & the average folk and pick up the “scepter of suave”. He can still be a role model to God knows who only he’ll have to add kids the caution about getting married before your time or getting married at all if “it’s” not in you.
Whoever he gets to advise him might even begin with getting him dates with women who can trace their lineage into royal blood or heiresses to major fortunes (for example, if someone could negotiate a Tiger Woods – Paris Hilton hook up it would bolster both of their careers straight into the stratosphere league of relationships I call, “The Untouchables”).
I do not know Tiger Woods personally but I do know he needs to read the information I have to share while he is still in sabbatical. But that’s another blog.
As I do not encourage comments here I invite you to email me. Gary.jms1@gmail.com I am the only one who reads mail sent there so feel free to speak your mind. OR, if you wish, call me. My phone is always busy so you will probably need to leave a message. I promise to get back with you usually within 24 hours. 412-378-1531
Copyright Gary James 2010 all rights reserved
Technorati Tags: financial, golf, Hilton, infidelity, men, money, paris, problems, publicist, relationship, sex, Social, Tiger, women, woods
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Monday, November 9th, 2009
You are at www.garyjamesblogs.com
“The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became to each other”.
This sentence spoken on the show 20/20 by Pop Star Rihanna is an accurate summation of what the instinctive behavior known as “The Mammalian Way” can do to you, your relationship, and others, IF & When you do not know that you and others are being massively affected by instinctive behavior patterns over which you have very little direct control. This is especially true if you have no idea that “The Mammalian Way” exists. And so it is for Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their relationship ended because neither of them are aware of how deeply “The Mammalian Way” can influence presumed loving behaior and create issues in a relarionship.
Photo by: Lester Cohen / WireImage
The fact is, everyone who is human must contend with the tenets of “The Mammalian Way” or you can satiate the forces that drive it, especially if your relationship entails an element of sex & romance.
However, you dare not ignore “The Mammalian Way”. Otherwise, you can end up like Rihanna and Chris Brown…..Or worse. For example, Steve McNair and Sahel Kazemi. Steve & Sahel’s relationship issues also emanated from “The Mammalian Way” of things but it ended in extreme violence, namely, murder-suicide. SO, the issues between Rihanna and Chris Brown could have been worse.
Rihanna was also quoted as saying “There was no person when I looked at him” during the fight they had where Chris admitted he physically abused Rihanna.
This stands to reason. It is a well documented fact that when men are in love with a woman as beautiful as Rihanna men can get very possessive, very quickly. That is the typical portrayal of the everyday behavior indicative of “The Mammalian Way” (TMW). But when possessive behavior is coupled with fame (for him and/or her) it further ferments both major tenets of my original theory. 1) The male “Perversions of Honor” (POH)* that persist in our culture in men and 2) It further exacerbates a woman’s massive sense of insecurity called “Pendulum Swing of Insecurity” (PSOI)*, a polarized condition that continually resonates between a woman’s cognitive emotion and the primal. Again, when coupled with fame she is liable to seem well under control (cognitive) but is prone to eventually engage in most any type of dangerous and destructive behavior (an aspect of “TMW”) because this behavior feeds the female mammalian instinct to be protected & dominated by the dangerous male.
Frankly, I am reasonably certain this is the precarious position Rihanna now finds herself in. Rihanna is on the brink of self destruction.
Meanwhile, when men feel the affects of “Double Dis”* compounded by the influences that fame brings him in his relationships his primal instinct to have her simply cease the overt behavior to challenge him and to submit to him becomes quite acute.
Since submitting (in our current culture) is unlikely to happen it is best for people in relationships where the mammalian way becomes a factor which is almost always the case where sex can become a factor, it is best for people in relationships to realize what instinctive forces they are dealing with and abate them as much as possible. Prior knowledge of the forces is the key.
This way a couple involved as deeply as Rihanna & Chris Brown were, can more easily and consistently make a resolve then they can go straight to the make up sex. Also, this way, relationships have a better chance of survival without the assault and battery that has become so pervasive in our culture.
(* For further explanation read the book “The Mammalian Way”)
Head your relationship issues “off at the pass” by reading my book “The Mammalian Way”.
Meanwhile, look for more on Rihanna and Chris and other sub similar subjects.
I do not encourage comments on this blog. You can email me at garyjameradioshow@yahoo.com I am the only one who reads that email so feel free to lament.
Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved
Technorati Tags: abuse, brown, chris, Gary, issues, james, Kazemi, mammalian, McNair, murder, physical, relationship, rihanna, romance, Sahel, sex, Steve, suicide, violence, way
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Sunday, August 30th, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
He’s moving too fast, he constantly talks about an ex, he’s reluctant to be seen with you in public. These are elements of a distinct pattern of social behavior in relationships between men and women that could lead to the cognitive conclusion, HE’S NOT THE ONE”!….But, then again, these behavior patterns might mean that maybe he is. Why the conflict?
It’s because these behavior patterns in a man* could mean he’s on the rebound (and you’re the re-bounder, and that alone could be a good or bad thing.) Or, it could mean he’s cheating on someone and using you as the cheating device. OR, it could be perfectly normal behavior for him as a part of his process to become socialized into another or even a more committed relationship. (*The same behavior patterns in a woman, often means something entirely different.)
So if you are a woman and the evident love interest of a man with such a pattern of behavior and you’re trying your best to discern the psychology of men or of women, does this mean you just shrug your shoulders, hope for the best and go along for the ride? Well, that is certainly one way to go. However, there is a much safer alternative.
Now days it is vital for someone who values their own heart & self esteem, who wants more pleasure and less pain out of everyday life, that they necessarily need to be able to drill down through the cognitive and be able to read a man or a woman’s instinctive behavior patterns known as, “The Mammalian Way”™.
The importance of this is because human instinctive behavior patterns, once you know how to read them are the ones that reveal the “truest” picture of human behavior, including gender specific issues, communication differences in interpersonal relationships, and the likes, for what they actually mean.
From Sigmund Freud to Dr. Phil, most people who use psychology as a part of their career will tell you that instinctive behavior has a tendency to be at the root of what controls human behavior. “The Mammalian Way”™ points out how to discern such behavior and what it means from the gender specific perspective, especially when it comes to social behavior between men and women in relationships.
In other words, the information conveyed in the pages of, “The Mammalian Way”™ will provide women with a tool to really get a sense for if the one you’re with or the one you want to be with, is he the one or not?
copyright (c) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved
Technorati Tags: behavior, between, communication, differences, Gary, gender, interpersonal, issues, james, mammalian, men, of, psychology, relationships, Social, specific, the, theory, way, women
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Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com
…The issue is, our instinctive behavior now runs a constant collision course with our learned behavior. It’s an earth wide issue and over the last few decades at least it has brought the human condition face to face with it’s own existence….
“What Is He Thinking? Sanford Violates All Rules of Sex Scandal”. This is one of the headlines Fox News used in reporting on Governor Mark Sanford’s admission he sees his love interest from Argentina as his “Soul Mate”.
According to the theories I developed over many years and now bring to the world via this blog and my book titled, “The Mammalian Way” What Governor Mark Sanford was thinking has nothing to do with it.
What he’s actually facing that brought him to behavior that would violate the “rules of political sex scandal” is the everyday conflict that he along with billions of other male and female human mammals face earth wide within their relationships, especially their most inimate ones. And love does not necessarily have anything to do with it. According to my life long research this is swiftly becoming a fact of current day human existence.
In my book, “The Mammalian Way” I share through two new workable theories that brings a more complete big picture paradigm into the social sciences. I maintain that humans have instinctively developed over a long period of time two elaborate psychological defense mechanisms (one for women, one for men) that help us to contend with moment to moment survival amongst one another who have no choice but to live in an imperfectly safe world (environment). The main issue is, these defense mechanisms are now “trying” to modify our instinctive behavior such that it now runs a constant collision course with our learned behavior. It’s an earth wide issue and over the last few decades at least it has brought the human condition face to face with it’s own existence.
It boiled down to a discovery I made that took nearly three decades to piece together that lead to my authoring a couple new theories that render to the world a more complete paradigm in the social sciences. I call them “The Pendulum Swing of Insecurity” for women and “Perversions of Honor” for men.
How & why did this happen? The theory is quite simple in concept. There are two very elaborate psychological defense mechanisms unconsciously created & developed by human kind over a long period of time in order to contend with mostly instinctive behavior patterns as they emerge from the inner most area of the human condition into an ever increasing “Imperfectly Safe World (ISW)”.
Ironically, although the “ISW” is an environment that seems to be a fact of life I am convinced it is an unnatural state for the human condition and not one that human’s were designed to live under indefinitely. I know this sounds a bit existential but I am certain the issue lies in the conflict between human instinctive and human learned behavior, and it can be readily seen by observation of the defense mechanisms at work, as humans act out instinctive behavior that comes natural to all mammals.
Behavior I refer to as, “The Mammalian Way”. In essence, my book is an introduction to the defense mechanism’s story.
As for Governor Mark Sanford, if he would have read my work before he met his wife I doubt he would be dealing with what he’s got to deal with now. Bye for now.
I do not encourage comments on this blog. If you wish, you may email me, gary.jms1@gmail.com just copy and paste. I am the only one who reads that mail.
Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.
Technorati Tags: behavior, defense, governor, honor, human, insecurity, love, mammalian, mark, mate, mechanism, men, pendulum, perversion, psychology, relationships, sanford, scandal, sex, soul, swing, testicles, the, way, women
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