Archive for the ‘MESSAGES TO MEN’ Category
I recently saw a TV documentary about people who think they have issues with sex and who were all participating in group therapy. Out of about a dozen people who participated in the group there were six situations that were most discussed. There was;
A man who “trolled” on line to meet women for sex and wanted to stop that behavior but needed help.
A woman who claimed she was a “non-monogamous” person and wanted to change but needed help.
A woman who loved rough sex and had a strong attraction for the bad guys but wanted to stop because domestic abuse was becoming an ever increasing issue with her.
A woman who is 30 something years old and still a virgin.
A man who was a sex addict and constantly cheats on his girl friend and wanted to stop cheating but needed help.
A man who is afraid of sex.
Here is my reaction; All of the issues described here have some sort of connection to how The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) functions inside of every human being when YOU are ignorant of how TMW actually functions.
As I watched the documentary I could tell right away that none of the people who participated knew anything about my work and that includes the therapist.
He used a combination of therapies including, one on one with each participant along with a measure of group therapy to try and help each of the participants to achieve their goal. In the end we were all left with a sense of “wait & see” if any or all of the participants could claim recovery.
As for me, it’s not that small groups in therapy cannot work it’s more a matter of group therapy when it comes to issues related to The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) simply do not work because of the way it’s administered in our culture. And this is because the real issue never seems to be addressed. It’s always the symptoms not the root reason for the behavior that is addressed. And that’s because no one until me has been able to isolate the fact that there is a root reason for most of the social woes that plague the human condition.
And that’s a shame and why there are soooooo many people who think therapy does not work.
So here is my offer; if you find yourself suffering from one of the psychological issues described here or one that might be similar I promise I can help you recover. You can begin by using self-help therapy by reading my first book. OR, if you need help right away I will throw in the book for free if you register for a phone session with me.
Best to you always,
“The greatest source of support, wise counsel, and love that any soldier could have.” This quote from David Petraeus about his wife Holly, and who resigned his position as director of the CIA over an extra marital affair with biographer Paula Broadwell is a perfect example of women (in particularly wives) who get bit in the crouch and the heart by a lack of understanding of HOW a force of nature called The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) functions within each gender. And that lack of understanding goes for David, Paula, and Scott as well.
What’s more David Petraeus probably meant every word of that quote. BUT, in saying those words he was responding through his Cognitive Capacity (CC) that emanates from his brain’s power of reason and not his actual honor instinct. The chief reason men cheat on their wives is because all heterosexual human males are prone to a psychological defense mechanism that manifests out of their own powerful sense of honor called Perversions of Honor™ in Men (POH).
Paula on the other hand started out her affiliation with David as a Professional endeavor where a woman’s need for security in a personal relationship has far less of an impact on her social behavior.
BUT, women respond to what they perceive is a man’s power and if a woman is too close to a man of power for too long of a time her CC can allow her personal relationship psychological defense mechanism called the Pendulum Swing of Insecurity™ in Women (PSOI) to engage and this can easily cause her to feel the satisfying effects of a man being honored by her personal behavior toward him such that he takes the lead in personal matters related to her life.
The Petreaus/Broadwell affair is the epitome of a man’s POH reaching out for a woman’s PSOI to the point they will succumb to their instinctive needs to Find The One and engage the process to procreate (one of our most powerful animal survival instincts) even though they are already married.
Whereby, the actual survival of the species social instincts inside of Petraeus and Broadwell that do not “know” what marriage is because it’s cognitive, have likely already denied their respective spouses as THE ONE.
Meanwhile, cognitively speaking Petreaus & broadwell may still claim that Holly and Scott are still THE ONE. However, when the TMW instincts deny your chosen one because of lack of behavior by either them or you that is not in league with how THEY function they WILL always reject your cognitive decisions…. Period.
When that happens coupled with the close proximity of their ongoing interaction the POH and the PSOI defense mechanisms that are creations of the brain’s cognitive capacity will fail to stave off the pressure placed upon a human by their own instincts.
If you read my book and listen to the segment of my audio series titled Honor vs Ego(tism) in men you will clearly see what to do and how to avoid or abate something like this from happening to you, because I assure that;
- Men are prone to POH and women are prone to PSOI in their personal relationships.
- Men are getting increasingly worse in their overall treatment of women and it cannot be fixed at the macro level of life. It can only be fixed on a 1 on 1 basis and then only if you know how TMW force of nature functions and how to apply it in your everyday life
The affair between Petraeus & Broadwell was avoidable. But it has nothing to do with what they think, say, vow, or believe. They lost the battle at the animal/mammal level of life. And the reason for this is plain & simple ignorance of The Mammalian Way’s existence and/or how it functions.
Gentlemen: THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE ALPHA MALE TRAIT: That is, DOES SHE (the woman you sleep with or want to) PERCEIVE YOUR BEHAVIOR TOWARD HER AS POWERFUL in that it makes her feel safer? If so, then HER INSTINCTS will “see” you as an alpha male…. If not, then her instincts WILL reject you. This is the key to the social norm known as “A Man’s World”…. In other words, it's Still A Man's World…. because HER INSTINCTS say so… and that never changes….
I am doing so because men have responded to my book,
The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) and this blog in much greater numbers than I first expected…
However, women might also find it interesting because it will give you a perspective on what I say to and how I communicate with other heterosexual men….
… George told me he only paid attention to me because he “could see his second marriage going the same [bad] way as the first.”….
Most men have an aversion to talking about relationships.
However, since I also know that most men are hurting inside because they are in a constant state of “Double Dis” the fact I maintain that two people in a relationship can gain what they truly desire from the same relationship actually appeals to a man’s mind as well as his instincts but they also don’t believe that such a situation is possible.
As a result there are many men who tell me they have “given up trying” to figure her out or to be what she wants me to be. When they say such things to me I usually start to laugh and say “well then you might as well take a machete and just cut off your cock & balls…. Cuz you no longer need them.” That comment usually either ends the conversation abruptly or it opens a conversation between us about his relationship with his girlfriend or wife. Meanwhile,
I want to share with you about a guy who recently said to me that he had “given up trying.” I will call him George to protect his anonymity.
After George’s comment to me I gave him my usual remark and a conversation began. George eventually asked me, “Well what should I do then to get her to tell me what she wants?” My answer was, “George, it doesn’t work that way. Men are not supposed to figure out women. We are male mammals first and that fact can never escape you when you meet, date, mate with, marry, or otherwise interact with a woman.”
Since he had not yet read my book I knew he would not understand my answer so George said, “Well what the “F##K” does that mean?” I said, “Have you ever had a dog?” Then he laughed and said, “Yea, his name was JD.”
I asked, “Did you hug JD and love JD and open up to JD and were there times when you knew you could tell what he was probably thinking or feeling… and maybe times where you knew that he knew what you were thinking or feeling too”? George said, “Oh yea!” Then I asked, “Is JD still alive?” George said, “No.” I asked, “How did that make you feel?”
With a plain pale look on his face George quietly said, “I cried and I never cry.”
I said, “YEP!” “It’s because you had a cross species mammalian connection with JD and that connection caused the two of you to bond and that’s what made you & JD love each other unconditionally. And that’s why you cried when he died.”
George said, “so I should love my wife like my dog?” I said, “Not exactly. With a dog or other animal there is no Cognitive Capacity (CC) because unlike humans, animals have no power of reason to contend with. But with another human, especially a woman you are involved with there is your CC as well as her CC that figures into the mix.”
I went on to explain how easy it is for humans to use their CC to interfere with the intentions of the set of survival instincts I call The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) and how badly we can mess up a relationship with the opposite gender when we do.
I further explained that it was his inherent responsibility to use his CC in league with his mammal instincts in order to look after the well being of his wife, and then I added, “And that includes looking after her emotional well being by using your mammal instincts to open up to her mammal instincts just like you did with JD.”
At first I could tell that George did not like hearing the fact that he was responsible for his wife’s emotional well being so he started to ask me another question but then stopped in the middle of a sentence and asked, “How do I get a copy of your book?”
I told him and then I said, “George you are a rarity because most guys will not allow new information into their brain no matter how useful it might be!”
This prompted George to admit the real reason why he wanted the book and why he was willing to speak with me. It turns out he was married for 7 years and then his first wife divorced him. This was his second marriage of two years and his second wife was already on the brink of leaving. He only paid attention to me because he “could see his second marriage going the same [bad] way as the first.”
He bought the book and I also gave him a couple other suggestions. Then about two weeks later he called me and said, “Gary, you’re a genius.”
He went on, “What you shared with me not only makes sense, it worked!”
Sure it does and that’s because TMW is nature’s way to build and keep a relationship healthy, loving, and growing at the mammalian level of life. Moreover, George’s cognitive capacity (CC) is now in line with his mammal instincts as well as her mammal instincts. They were able to rejuvenate the mammalian connection that was formed at the beginning of their relationship, and when that happens, most relationship issues tend to fade away or dramatically diminish.
The discovery I made and the working model I constructed has never failed to produce positive results so long as you follow nature’s processes and you don’t allow your CC to interfere with following those processes.
It’s all about caring for each other’s needs at the most basic level and since the mammalian connection is the place where love grows, and bonding deepens, it’s also the reason why both people in a relationship can gain what they truly desire from the same relationship. And it gets easier & easier to do over time.
The book is an introduction and the audio series is a continuation of how to use TMW processes to benefit your life. Click here for products & services.
Every heterosexual relationship that has ever been built, or crashed into nothing has involved or does involve The Mammalian Way™ force of nature. There is no escaping it because it’s a part of nature’s way to protect human species survival… even if you were to say, “I’ve given up on relationships”.
I discovered & represent the corner stone in understanding about the true Reality of Relationships and I speak FOR the instincts. There are three main instincts that converge into a single force of nature called The Mammalian Way™ (Pronounced, Ma-MAIL-YUN) when “Girl meets Guy”.
I make this very overt statement because at this point in time I am uniquely qualified to speak for The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) instincts and I am also the leader of an ever growing number of people who are in the process of assimilating how to harness this power and use it as a survival tool in order to help keep their relationships as well as their lives happier & safer.
My books, blog, web site, and drama series, are dedicated to the mission of helping both genders acquire what they truly desire from engaging in the same relationship.
FOR WOMEN this translates into an overall sense of feeling secure that comes with knowing certain truths, like when you know a secret to a fast & special service that everyone else stands in line to receive. Plus, the men you meet will no longer be a mystery. And it will become much easier for you to choose which man for what purpose, because TMW opens the pathway for a woman to actually "have it all".
FOR MEN it translates into receiving better quality treatment from the woman/women they encounter not to mention the distinct possibility of receiving actual “A” grade sex (maybe this will be for the first time in your life).
And it’s all because you will finally know the secrets of The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) of things (stuff that your parents would have told you but they did not know about TMW themselves).
TMW is simply several of your instincts that congeal into a single force of nature when Girl meets Guy. So without fear you need to get to know them as The Mammalian Way™ (TMW) because they never ever change and they have but one goal; Human species survival. And oddly enough they will leave you in emotional and physical pain & anguish if you do anything to interrupt their process of protecting species survival.
So, unless everything is already wonderful with your love-life it's very important to your well being that you start to understand TMW right away. The sooner you do the sooner you avoid the pain and enjoy the benefits….
Be sure to visit the web site right now for further information or to order the book or an audio by clicking here.
Copyright (C) Gary James 2012 all rights reserved
You are at www.garyjamesblogs.com
It is a mistake to believe that a science consists in nothing but conclusively proved propositions, and it is unjust to demand that it should. It is a demand only made by those who feel a craving for authority in some form and a need to replace the religious catechism by something else, even if it be a scientific one. Science….consists mainly of statements which it has developed to varying degrees of probability. The capacity to be content with these approximations to certainty and the ability to carry on constructive work despite the lack of final confirmation are actually a mark of the scientific habit of mind. – Sigmund Freud
For anyone who has the gift of insight and presses on into the universal realm of discovery despite all obsticles and apprehensions, is the difference between living and merely existing. – Gary James
As early as 6 years old and Long before I heard the term “Social Theorist” that my peers use to describe me I knew there were many aspects in many areas of life that seemed very incomplete to me. And in several instances as I matured I set out and did something about it.
I produced original theories in the fields of American Law as well as Health & Wellness.
In the field of Health & Wellness I coined the phrase “Nutritional Based Disorders”. Prior to my work in that field there was no such term in use. Since I published a few writings on the subject every major pharmaceutical company and a great many medical as well as alternative institutions now use the phrase routinely in that they recognize the immense influence that “food (and food supplements) as an actual therapy” has on the human condition regarding physical Health & Wellness.
As for American Law, my theory was so successful with regard to the protection of “inalienable rights” I was paid a visit by a couple “G” Men who convinced me to “keep to myself” about the convoluted reasoning I found that permeates the American system of Law to this day.
What people who make their living in the pursuit of those professions found interesting is, I produced hyper accurate, very useful, and original information for each of those professions, and I am not a physician or a lawyer. What I find interesting in their observation is, until they met me they did not see that as it stands now, in order to participate in their respective existing regimes as a licensed professional it becomes necessary to surrender or chiefly ignore their own God given insight.
For a Social Theorist insight is the main reason they are able to accurately theorize about specific subjects that actually matter to everyday people’s lives, and therefore it is vital to the profession of Social Theory that the theorist, remain free as possible from any encumbrances that could stifle their insight. And that is the case with me.
However, in the field of Social Science where I have made great headway into a new theory that reveals two elaborate psychological-sociological defense mechanisms unconsciously constructed by the masses over a long period of time in order to make life more tolerable on an everyday basis, besides insight, I hold a degree in psychology as well as business. My thesis, my right to proceed as a professional in this matter, is the book where I present my efforts titled, “The Mammalian Way” ™.
This effort began while I was still a teenager in college where I read the works of Sigmund Freud, Abraham Maslow, Carl Rodgers, B.F. Skinner, and Jean Piaget. I sensed even then the social sciences needed a more complete paradigm to explain the basic psychology of human behavior, especially instinctive behavior, although at the time I was far too timid to say so. As I took it upon myself to search for an accurate more complete picture of the human condition, after college, I went to work professionally in the grass roots area of production and for more than 30 years I made a living there. This vocation provided the perfect fodder for my psychology-sociology research because as a producer of the arts & entertainment it enabled me to interact with many thousands of the most diverse personalities and behavior patterns in people from all over the world.
Meanwhile, in order to obtain optimum benefit from the information presented in the book you need to apply the information in your own life and glean the benefits directly as much as you can. I have written the book as a source of reference for clinicians as well as a source of self-help for those who prefer that venue.
© Copyright Gary James 2008 All Rights Reserved