Archive for January, 2010

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP THERAPY: INITIAL SEGMENT

Monday, January 11th, 2010

You’re at www.garyjamesblogs.com

Since I began to promote my book titled, “The mammalian Way” I have been asked for advice on just about every category of personal relationships, from dating to divorce as it were. Even though I can give a reasonable answer to most questions based on my experience as a social science researcher, the fact is, I have uncovered the bottom line reasons WHY humans behave the way they do in personal relationships, especially when sex* can become a factor. So I also typically take time to emphasize the importance of knowing WHY humans behave the way they do in personal relationships.

Knowing why is extremely important because it opens a psychological pathway for humans to routinely benefit by one of the most basic principles in all of mammalian society. Namely, the principle of acquiring less pain – more pleasure from virtually all personal relationships. And when you read my book you will find as human mammals go this includes the more cognitive influences on human behavior as well.

*(Sex, you see, is a most poignant common denominator between human social behavior and the social behavior of all the other mammals on the earth. I maintain that directly or even very IN directly it is sex, the potential for it (or lack of it) that plays a role in most issues that arise in human personal relationships.)   

Meanwhile, it is your own common sense, a reasonable level of reading comprehension, and at least some interaction with the opposite gender as well as follow the support venues I produce that will provide most of what you need in order to understand, apply, and otherwise benefit by the tenets (secrets) revealed in “The Mammalian Way” as to what you might do (and not do) to improve the overall quality of your life in personal relationships.

 

TO THAT END: Allow me to be your guide as you enjoy another segment of PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP THERAPY.

Keep in mind I am a Social Theorist not a therapist. Much of my research is centered on innate or instinctive human behavior and my theory was initially constructed to support those who administer therapy to others such as psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and the likes.

Moreover, unless they have read my very simple work that contains a truly original theory of why we have much of the issues we do within “Love Interest” type relationships between the genders, the professors usually stop short of explaining the question, WHY.

Meanwhile, the material I share can be quite therapeutic because I have uncovered the bottom line root of WHY most of the issues between men & women exist.

From my research I eventually constructed a theory that was gleaned from direct interaction with thousands of people (in small groups as well as one on one encounters.) over a relatively long period of time (approx. 30 years).

In that time, I sometimes gave advice in the form of suggestions as to what might be done to improve a particular person’s situation(s) that they were in. I kept low key and only made suggestions where I knew I could follow up. I did this for two main reasons.

 One, most of the people I discussed my research with are/were licensed therapists who specialized in one area of psychology-sociology or another. Two, most of the people I researched data from HAD NO IDEA I WAS TAKING NOTES ON OUR ENCOUNTER.  

This methodology turned up some amazing things. For example, one thing I discovered was, most “people” ask questions, give opinions, and then display behavior that was most often in direct conflict** with what they told me. **(In other words, most people will lie to themselves, usually to satisfy the more cognitive or semantic influences of human behavior, including romance, then proceed to act out typical mammalian behavior often to the full as if drawn to it.)

The conflict occurred most often and regardless of their socio-economic-cultural or educational background and whether it was a part of one on one encounters or a mixed gender group. This is also how I knew I was on to something huge and something viable although early on I was not intent on an entire new theory that provides all professional therapists et. al. with a more complete paradigm of behavioral psychology.

I constructed a theory that is based upon one assumption and takes into account all or nearly all of the encounters that heterosexual human men & women can experience. Given the diversity of human encounters and their potential for peculiar behavior any theory that proposes a collective answer is at least an ambitious undertaking. This is why it took decades to complete.

The segment titled “Relationship Therapy” is an exercise area where personal relationship issues are shared and then we discuss the issue with respect to the many tenets of the theory I constructed that is part of what you will find when you read my book titled, “The Mammalian Way”. In order to receive the full value of the relationship therapy you need to use my book as a point of reference. You can buy the printed cover version for only $19.95 or the PDF file version of the book for as little as only $5.00 US Go to www.themammalianway.com

I do not encourage comments on this blog. However, if you wish to contact me use gary.jms1@gmail.com or tweet me @garyjames

Copyright (C) Gary James 2010 all rights reserved 

 

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TIGER WOODS LOVE LIFE: WHAT IMPACT LAY AHEAD?

Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

 

You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com  

Given all the media hype about Tiger Wood’s love life who did not know that AT&T would drop his sponsorship. For the moment he is simply too hot & too risky to keep around given the way the media snoops into people’s private lives. Who knows what they might uncover next?

Meanwhile, as a relationships author I can tell you that none of what has gone on recently in Tiger’s life surprised me…not even a little bit. Rather, my contention is, it was probably some publicist or other type of Ad person who likely whispered into Tiger’s ear the benefits of the increased value to his stock should he get married, start a family, and become the quintessential “role model” for God knows who that motivated Tiger Woods to get married in the first place.

With that scenario as a likely influence, the overall estimate that Tiger’s love life will cost sports, endorsements, and his self currently sits at about 12 billion dollars. Talk about the ripple effect. But wait a minute, what about the fact he now no longer has to live the lie?

Prior to the news break about his true interest in women, socially speaking, who didn’t think of Tiger as a fortunate dweeb? But for the fact he could make a golf ball sing opera, cook breakfast, or just about anything else he wanted there is no way that Tiger Woods would get near the women he does. From a strict straight sexual male perspective and someone who has written a book* on the subject Tiger gets a resounding “BRAVO!” (*See book titled “The Mammalian Way”) 

Not that I endorse infidelity because I don’t. Socially speaking, the fact is, Tiger had no business being married in the first place. The Bravo part is because he pulled it off for as long as he did. If Tiger would have the physical look of a Brad Pit I doubt the media would have allowed him to get away with the antics he did for nearly as long.

Financially speaking, Tiger needs on his team an advisor who can council his councilors about how to launch the career of a male sports super star where the fact he is a “playa” as an established fact of life. Tiger MUST now drop his image as a family man liaison between the craziness of big time sports & the average folk and pick up the “scepter of suave”. He can still be a role model to God knows who only he’ll have to add kids the caution about getting married before your time or getting married at all if “it’s” not in you.

Whoever he gets to advise him might even begin with getting him dates with women who can trace their lineage into royal blood or heiresses to major fortunes (for example, if someone could negotiate a Tiger Woods – Paris Hilton hook up it would bolster both of their careers straight into the stratosphere league of relationships I call, “The Untouchables”).

I do not know Tiger Woods personally but I do know he needs to read the information I have to share while he is still in sabbatical. But that’s another blog.

As I do not encourage comments here I invite you to email me. Gary.jms1@gmail.com I am the only one who reads mail sent there so feel free to speak your mind. OR, if you wish, call me. My phone is always busy so you will probably need to leave a message. I promise to get back with you usually within 24 hours. 412-378-1531 

 Copyright Gary James 2010 all rights reserved

 

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