You are at www.garyjamesblogs.com
“The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became to each other”.
This sentence spoken on the show 20/20 by Pop Star Rihanna is an accurate summation of what the instinctive behavior known as “The Mammalian Way” can do to you, your relationship, and others, IF & When you do not know that you and others are being massively affected by instinctive behavior patterns over which you have very little direct control. This is especially true if you have no idea that “The Mammalian Way” exists. And so it is for Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their relationship ended because neither of them are aware of how deeply “The Mammalian Way” can influence presumed loving behaior and create issues in a relarionship.
Photo by: Lester Cohen / WireImage
The fact is, everyone who is human must contend with the tenets of “The Mammalian Way” or you can satiate the forces that drive it, especially if your relationship entails an element of sex & romance.
However, you dare not ignore “The Mammalian Way”. Otherwise, you can end up like Rihanna and Chris Brown…..Or worse. For example, Steve McNair and Sahel Kazemi. Steve & Sahel’s relationship issues also emanated from “The Mammalian Way” of things but it ended in extreme violence, namely, murder-suicide. SO, the issues between Rihanna and Chris Brown could have been worse.
Rihanna was also quoted as saying “There was no person when I looked at him” during the fight they had where Chris admitted he physically abused Rihanna.
This stands to reason. It is a well documented fact that when men are in love with a woman as beautiful as Rihanna men can get very possessive, very quickly. That is the typical portrayal of the everyday behavior indicative of “The Mammalian Way” (TMW). But when possessive behavior is coupled with fame (for him and/or her) it further ferments both major tenets of my original theory. 1) The male “Perversions of Honor” (POH)* that persist in our culture in men and 2) It further exacerbates a woman’s massive sense of insecurity called “Pendulum Swing of Insecurity” (PSOI)*, a polarized condition that continually resonates between a woman’s cognitive emotion and the primal. Again, when coupled with fame she is liable to seem well under control (cognitive) but is prone to eventually engage in most any type of dangerous and destructive behavior (an aspect of “TMW”) because this behavior feeds the female mammalian instinct to be protected & dominated by the dangerous male.
Frankly, I am reasonably certain this is the precarious position Rihanna now finds herself in. Rihanna is on the brink of self destruction.
Meanwhile, when men feel the affects of “Double Dis”* compounded by the influences that fame brings him in his relationships his primal instinct to have her simply cease the overt behavior to challenge him and to submit to him becomes quite acute.
Since submitting (in our current culture) is unlikely to happen it is best for people in relationships where the mammalian way becomes a factor which is almost always the case where sex can become a factor, it is best for people in relationships to realize what instinctive forces they are dealing with and abate them as much as possible. Prior knowledge of the forces is the key.
This way a couple involved as deeply as Rihanna & Chris Brown were, can more easily and consistently make a resolve then they can go straight to the make up sex. Also, this way, relationships have a better chance of survival without the assault and battery that has become so pervasive in our culture.
Head your relationship issues “off at the pass” by reading my book “The Mammalian Way”.
Meanwhile, look for more on Rihanna and Chris and other sub similar subjects.
I do not encourage comments on this blog. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org I am the only one who reads that email so feel free to lament.
Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved