Archive for May, 2009

NEW THEORIES IN THE SOCIAL SCIENCES MEET WITH SKEPTICISM AND CURIOSITY!

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com

….Learn to read women like a book. It’s never been easier once you know what to look for…. Do you think I’m full of condensed Horse Crap!? Let me tell you, during the process to get my research into readable form and into practice, there were many times that I sure did……

 

Why me? I have been asked that question in one way or another by several people since the day I began to put forth the prospect that I had assembled new and useful psychological information in the form of elaborate & instinctive defense mechanisms made manifest as a result of human experience with current society & cultures earth wide.

 

Nearly anyone you speak with demonstrates a sense that something has changed about the nature of how people interact with each other. That’s not new.

 

It’s the fact that there is a distinct pattern to how humans act and react to each other in an ever increasing unsafe environment that allows for relative predictable behavior patterns that emerge as elaborate defense mechanisms (one for men, one for women) that tend to control behavior regardless of culture, age, social status, wealth, or the likes. This is what I have seen develop over nearly 35 years of research and study, and I’ve assembled my findings into at least one book.

 

Meanwhile, the main variable in my research seems to be the difference in how the gender’s act & react to each other…especially where sex can become a factor.

 

But wait! I am ahead of myself. Like a guide who knows that once you take the journey with me, a journey to the center of yourself perhaps, where much will be revealed to you about Y-O-U as well as others (and especially the opposite sex) it will serve you as a method or tool to recalibrate your own understanding of many everyday social norms that most people now think they already understand. And as long as people continue to assess their everyday social life using an incomplete if not an antiquated paradigm, you can expect an increase in the pain that current day humans often experience as they pass in and out of one relationship (biz or personal) after another.

 

But Wait! What about me? Why does Gary James get to share this more complete everyday social paradigm with the world?

 

In a world that produced Sigmund Freud, Carl Rodgers, B.F. Skinner, Jean Piaget, and yes even Dr. Phil, why amongst these pillars of the social sciences as well as the thousands of learned professionals from psychiatrists to social workers, why did I see the big picture before those who came before me.

 

Couple my rudimentary formal education in psychology and sociology with an aptitude and a voracious appetite to see the bottom line as well as the big picture of things in my life, along with a chance meeting and a couple other life’s choices I made, as an aggregate they seemed to have put me in an unusual if not a unique position where I was able to fetter out the facts related to two new theories in the social sciences that are manifest as elaborate psychological defense mechanisms by which most humans instinctively use to cope with their everyday environment. Actions & events that people take for granted as being isolated or independent situations have simply not been identified as part of an overall instinctive operation to cope.

 

Then just like a CSI detective, I collected and followed the evidence for nearly 30 years and drew my conclusions objectively (despite being a sexually straight male human and stricken with the condition known as, “all thoughts pass through my penis prism first”) I was able to make genuine conclusions that fit all the facts.

 

Accurate as they may be I have assembled these facts and conclusions into theories and how to use them in your everyday life to make any of the relationships you engage in more perfect than they are now, and how to avoid or diminish the pain you often experience while in a relationship, into a book titled, “The Mammalian Way” The book is an easy read and chock full of examples put in terms of sexuality, sexual behavior, and other humorous (anecdotes). You know….the sultry stuff of life. The stuff that’s interesting to read.

 

The book also sheds light on such questions as,

 

“Why do married people really cheat”? And how to avoid this from happening to you.

“Why do good girls like bad boys”? And how to have this knowledge work for you in a relationship.

“Why do men seem to only want one thing”? Learn to discern how men really react to women and what they really want.

“Why are women supposedly so unpredictable?” Learn to read women like a book. It’s never been easier once you know what to look for.

 

Do you think I’m full of condensed Horse Crap!? Let me tell you, during the process to get my research into readable form and into practice, there were many times I sure did.

 

However, as the bigger picture of human behavior unfolded in front of me and I put into practice the conclusions from the facts, it made my life and the lives of many other people happier and it helped to make people’s everyday relationships more perfect.

 

So visit back to my blog often and stay abreast of the new material I share. Also be on the look out for the release of the book titled, “The Mammalian Way”.

 

I do not encourage comments here. If you wish you may email me gary.jms1@gmail.com I am the only one who reads mail sent there. Best to you,

 

 

Copyright (c) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.

 

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RELATIONSHIPS ANONYMOUS AND TRUE CONFESSIONS: TELL IT & READ IT LIKE IT IS!

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com

…. Ladies please understand, The brick line is a universal line and will work on any guy, earth wide, between the ages of 12 to 92, whether he’s a buff jock or a pencil necked Geek. It does not matter!….

This repeating segment to my blog will give you the chance to ask me questions that I will provide answers for as well as useful information to help with everyday issues that can arise within most personal or professional relationships. This segment will also give you a chance to vent your emotions or confess your actions if you wish with complete anonymity. Feel free to use me as your sounding board. Especially if there is something stressful on your mind or if the information is juicy enough that you just need to get out.

 

I recently received a question. The asker, a woman who I will call “Julie”, wishes to remain anonymous. And so it will be. And the question is,

“Why would a guy that shows signs that he likes you suddenly start acting like a jerk”?

 

This was the entire question. It is a normal one that women often ask me.

 

Answer: Even though the question is a bit general, my first thought on this is to ask “Julie” if the guy who has shown interest in you has read any dating books? I ask this because one of the things that most dating books teach guys to do is, “Act like a jerk around a woman he’s interested in” because this is the way to win over a woman’s amorous charms.

The fact is every once in awhile, that blind advice by dating authors is correct. I say blind advice because most dating book authors admit they do not really know why in certain situations a guy acting like a jerk will increase a woman’s interest in the him.

 

I am also quite certain that this is because most personal relationship advisors that includes dating book authors, have never been introduced to the greater understanding of the instinctive behavior that is at the core of why such a ridiculous maneuver as acting like a jerk around a woman that a man is interested in even works once in awhile in the first place.

 

However, once you do understand the bigger picture (which you can learn from me of course) you will very quickly see that there are far better ways to reach for a woman’s attention.

 

In the situation with my anonymous reader Julie I do not know if she likes the guy who is acting like a jerk or if his jerkiness has actually raised her interest in him.

If Julie could have given me a few more details I might be able to provide you with even deeper insight. Meanwhile Julie, if you like the guy I have a generic suggestion that you might try.

 

Approach him with a compliment unrelated to the jerkiness such as, “Excuse me Guy, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question.” Then touch him gently on the arm where the Tri & Bicep connect to the shoulder then ask, “I was wondering, are you carrying bricks under that shirt”?

 

Now Julie,…. I know what you’re thinking…… “How am I going to ask a man I barely know such a question AND keep a straight face too”? Or something like that, right? …..Julie….please understand, The brick line is a universal line and will work on any guy, earth wide, between the ages of 12 to 92, whether he’s a buff jock or a pencil necked Geek. It does not matter! (LADIES: FYI, in my up coming book, “The Perfect Relationship” I explain why such a line works so well. Most people initially see it as, “feeding his ego”. NOPE! That’s not it. Ego is a mere surface issue with guys,…like a little dirt on your Jimmy Choos! The “brick” line plays into something much, much deeper in a man.)

 

Meanwhile, you can ignore my suggestion if you like,…. No problemo. However, if you can pull off that question with a straight face and a sincere voice intonation it can facilitate quite a number of things all at once. 1) Guy’s jerkiness will immediately be at least temporarily reduced to near zero. 2) That line will likely begin a conversation between the two of you. Whereby, he speaks directly with you as opposed to speaking with your breasts, for example. 3) It could very well seed the establishing of you as Queen Bee in his love life, so long as that is what you want.

 

If he turns out to be more of a keeper than a loser, then you can bother to address the jerkiness thing some time later. You can always write me and I will help you.

 

Also, please keep on the watch for the release of my book, “The Perfect Relationship, Secrets of How to Find, Build, and Keep it”!

 

Until then you can learn more about the bigger picture of instinctive human behavior in all personal or business relationships by reading this blog. It will give you a “Leg up on the Bunny” of everyday life.

 

Best to you,

 

Copyright Gary James ã 2009 all rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

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WOMEN AND SELF ESTEEM: WHY ARE THEY SO INSECURE?

Saturday, May 2nd, 2009

You are at www.garyjamesblogs.com

….Boys indeed have their issues with puberty too. However, the girl’s issue with puberty manifests as tremendous insecurity in what seems to be countless forms that never seems to cease until death….

Honey I Love You. You’re Perfect. Now Change! This is the title of a stage play I saw advertised on TV. I have not seen the play but whoever titled it also had at least an intuition into one of the biggest issues women in our culture face, namely, insecurity or rather, low esteem, and how to deal with it.

 

It’s still considered a phenomenon amongst many social scientists because the fact is regardless of how parents bring up their daughter’s, right around the age of puberty all girl’s self esteem seems to plummet like the stock market in the fall of 2008. It simply evaporates.

 

This makes perfect sense to me because puberty is when the hormone flow helps to kick in some of the instinctive behavior that is related to all mammals. In particular I’m talking about childbirth.

 

Granted, in our society twelve years old girls giving birth is quite the No-No. But that’s not how it works at the mammalian level of life. And I predict that in a perfectly safe world a young woman’s self esteem at puberty would be a non-issue because it would not “TANK”.

 

However, since we obviously live in an imperfectly safe world the elders of the community do whatever they can do to dissuade sexual activity at such a young age for girls or boys.

 

Boys indeed have their issues with puberty too. However, the girl’s issue with puberty manifests as tremendous insecurity in what seems to be countless forms that never seems to cease until death.

 

To combat this, current day experts in child rearing suggest trying numerous things such as, to encourage young girls to assert themselves as much as possible from extra curricular activities at school to being all that they can be in virtually anything else they encounter in life in order to prop up and hopefully inculcate self esteem into each young woman. That’s great, but the problem is, these methods do not seem to be working.

 

Meanwhile, the mammalian pressure from the primal lands located deep within each woman, are hard at work driving her to engage in the one thing she was born to do. That is, pick the best male of her species she can find, mate with him, and perpetuate the species! And even though that’s a fact Jack does that end the story?

 

Nope. Not by a long shot because we humans possess one thing unique to our species and something no other mammal faces, and that is, the power of reason a/k/a cognitive development. And if we are to believe our developmental psychologists then we need to accept as fact that our cognitive development does not reach maturity until around the age of 25.

 

Again, for human males, how they deal with such a dichotomy is an issue and it is different than girls and it is the subject for another blog. For women, the fact that their mammalian self tells them to mate at 12 but their over all ability to choose a mate for life does not completely develop until age 25, and couple this with the fact we live in an imperfectly safe world it is truly a wonder why women are not completely insane with insecurity. Or are they?

 

This still leaves the question “What to do about it”? Admittedly, there are more aspects to this subject than I’ve put in this blog. Please keep on the look out for the release of my book titled, “The Perfect Relationship: How to Find, Build, and Keep it”. In the book many questions like the one put forth here get answered.

 

 OR, if you wish email me and I will put that email on a list to contact when the book gets released. garyjamesradioshow@yahoo.com is my email. I am the only one who reads email sent there and I promise to keep your ID anonymous.

 

Copyright Gary Jamesã 2009 all rights reserved

 

 

 

 

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