As unflattering or unsavory as it may seem, given the overall emotional-psychologically charged, imperfectly safe, environment(s) that human’s (and in particular for this post) a woman’s survival instincts as well as her brain’s Cognitive Capacity (CC) face, throughout her life, there emerges a rather unavoidable challenge within the personal relationships she forges with men. That is, the vast majority of heterosexual (straight) women will sooner or later, likely end up becoming a Captured Vagina (CV) for some guy at least once in her life… The results of which are usually not welcome because her life is typically blindsided and/or traumatized by the experience(s)…
Moreover, most women who have been traumatized by the realization that she has become a Captured Vagina (CV) within a personal relationship with a man might not recognize it as such when it happens to them. However, she sure does identify with how it feels! Especially as the why & how she became a CV and what can be done about it is explained.
Right here is the first hurdle to overcome. That is, to identify the actual issue(s) at work which turn her into a CV (In HIS mind’s eye). This is important because prior to reading my work many women typically refer to elements of the process which turn her/you into a CV by some other name or phrase (“why don’t he commit?” or, “when we became a couple he was wonderful but lately he’s been a complete A-Hole”, etc.). These are examples of the signals or warning signs that you are becoming a CV…
But as the explanations mount, your confusion about why men genuinely behave the way they do, will tend to fade. Along with this, you will very quickly relate to the Captured Vagina (CV) as a syndrome because you are living “it”.
So, what can cause multitudes of 21st Century women who swear they are empowered and have shown they “do not need a man to survive” to become trapped in a physiological state called a Captured Vagina (CV)?
The answers are easy to say and relatively easy for a woman to feel an accurate sense of, but let me assure you that explaining the why & how a 21st Century woman can easily become trapped in such a state within her personal relationship with a man takes more than a couple or a few blog posts. However, it is a reasonable place to start…
SURVIVAL OF THE SPECIES IS WHERE ALL HUMAN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND THEIR ISSUE(S) BEGIN
Initially you might not believe what I am about to share and that is your choice. But two things are certain; 1) it is not likely that any efforts from all of human kind combined will ever change the way your social-survival instincts function. Most people who think that they can/have accomplished such a feat are only exercising suppression, repression, or the likes. (FYI, I have not fully explained the social-survival instincts yet)… 2) Over many millennium men have tried every way imaginable to trample a woman’s social-survival instincts out of existence (FYI, there’s a very good reason for this grotesque behavior which I will also explain later). Meanwhile,
There are consequences (some of them are dire) for both genders whenever you discount the power of your instincts because they are an innate birthright. [See the post on this blog regarding the “Cornucopia of Confusion” for a partial explanation of the consequences.]
With this in mind and in response to the question, “how does a woman become a Captured Vagina?” (CV); the lowest common denominator that motivates every living creature on earth to do anything is Survival of the Species (SOS). Human beings are a part of the mammal and the animal kingdoms. Within that realm, there is clear evidence via the observable behavior that the FEMALE picks the MALE for a personal relationship that usually leads (or might lead) to SEX.
[Sex is one of three (sex, security, honor) very powerful animal/mammal social-survival instincts that influence human social behavior that can lead to perpetuating the human species. (FYI, given the human brain’s extraordinary Cognitive Capacity (CC) sex that occurs between the genders is not limited to mating & procreation. It can also lead to sex for fun, sex for love, sex for romance, etc…)]*
As it relates to a woman becoming a Captured Vagina (CV) it’s her animal instincts that tell her intelligence (cognitive capacity (CC)) that SHE is the one who picks the man for a personal relationship [FYI, given the nature of human CC a personal relationship can be distinctly different than a relationship based on business]. So, despite the fact that a woman “does not need a man to survive,” the animal instinct that resides deep down inside her continues to nudge her such that she instinctively still WANTS a man.
LADIES: This is where most of your troubles in personal relationships with men begin. It includes the risk of becoming a CV in HIS mind’s eye…
Continuing, in order for your instinctive WANT for a man to become a tangible relationship in the human realm, your two female social-survival instincts (i.e., SEX-attached to love & romance and SAFETY/SECURITY) must pass through what amounts to be a human female Cognitive Prism (the cognitive prism AKA the PSOI is a coping mechanism for women. It is not my invention. The PSOI is attached to the instincts, which are attached to SOS). In essence, this cognitive prism converts your instinctive WANT for a man/mate into a cognitive, warm & fuzzy, psychological NEED… that by itself is not a bad thing at all. In fact, this conversion process is the main reason why, for example, romance novels that are hundreds of years old such as Jane Eyre, Pride & Prejudice, etc. can still have universal appeal amongst multitudes of 21st Century women (that is to say, a woman’s social-survival instincts for security, love, sex, & romance never changes).
This conversion process is also part of what makes a Fairytale Relationship genuinely feasible in the 21st Century.*
Meanwhile, the INSTINCTIVE WANT into PSYCHOLOGICAL NEED is subject to a coping mechanism that manifests from the animal instincts and plays out through her human CC via a process called, Pendulum Swing of Insecurity™ (PSOI) in Women. *
Thus far, most of what puts a woman at risk for becoming a CV is relatively easy to learn and to manage. However, the next aspect of how a woman can become a CV called, Perversions Of Honor™ (POH) in Men* might initially strike you as the mind blower… But that’s another blog post.
Best Wishes, Gary James
Copyright © Gary James 2014