Gary James Blogs

TIGER WOODS: GOLF PRO, ADULTERER, CONTINUES TO DISOBEY THE MAMMALIAN WAY. OH THE PAIN, THE PAIN, THE PAIN!

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Gary James Blogs…….Help with Relationships & Other Survival Issues

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PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP THERAPY: INITIAL SEGMENT

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Since I began to promote my book titled, “The mammalian Way” I have been asked for advice on just about every category of personal relationships, from dating to divorce as it were. Even though I can give a reasonable answer to most questions based on my experience as a social science researcher, the fact is, I have uncovered the bottom line reasons WHY humans behave the way they do in personal relationships, especially when sex* can become a factor. So I also typically take time to emphasize the importance of knowing WHY humans behave the way they do in personal relationships.

Knowing why is extremely important because it opens a psychological pathway for humans to routinely benefit by one of the most basic principles in all of mammalian society. Namely, the principle of acquiring less pain – more pleasure from virtually all personal relationships. And when you read my book you will find as human mammals go this includes the more cognitive influences on human behavior as well.

*(Sex, you see, is a most poignant common denominator between human social behavior and the social behavior of all the other mammals on the earth. I maintain that directly or even very IN directly it is sex, the potential for it (or lack of it) that plays a role in most issues that arise in human personal relationships.)   

Meanwhile, it is your own common sense, a reasonable level of reading comprehension, and at least some interaction with the opposite gender as well as follow the support venues I produce that will provide most of what you need in order to understand, apply, and otherwise benefit by the tenets (secrets) revealed in “The Mammalian Way” as to what you might do (and not do) to improve the overall quality of your life in personal relationships.

TO THAT END: Allow me to be your guide as you enjoy another segment of PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP THERAPY.

Keep in mind I am a Social Theorist not a therapist. Much of my research is centered on innate or instinctive human behavior and my theory was initially constructed to support those who administer therapy to others such as psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and the likes.

Moreover, unless they have read my very simple work that contains a truly original theory of why we have much of the issues we do within “Love Interest” type relationships between the genders, the professors usually stop short of explaining the question, WHY.

Meanwhile, the material I share can be quite therapeutic because I have uncovered the bottom line root of WHY most of the issues between men & women exist.

From my research I eventually constructed a theory that was gleaned from direct interaction with thousands of people (in small groups as well as one on one encounters.) over a relatively long period of time (approx. 30 years).

In that time, I sometimes gave advice in the form of suggestions as to what might be done to improve a particular person’s situation(s) that they were in. I kept low key and only made suggestions where I knew I could follow up. I did this for two main reasons.

 One, most of the people I discussed my research with are/were licensed therapists who specialized in one area of psychology-sociology or another. Two, most of the people I researched data from HAD NO IDEA I WAS TAKING NOTES ON OUR ENCOUNTER.  

This methodology turned up some amazing things. For example, one thing I discovered was, most “people” ask questions, give opinions, and then display behavior that was most often in direct conflict** with what they told me. **(In other words, most people will lie to themselves, usually to satisfy the more cognitive or semantic influences of human behavior, including romance, then proceed to act out typical mammalian behavior often to the full as if drawn to it.)

The conflict occurred most often and regardless of their socio-economic-cultural or educational background and whether it was a part of one on one encounters or a mixed gender group. This is also how I knew I was on to something huge and something viable although early on I was not intent on an entire new theory that provides all professional therapists et. al. with a more complete paradigm of behavioral psychology.

I constructed a theory that is based upon one assumption and takes into account all or nearly all of the encounters that heterosexual human men & women can experience. Given the diversity of human encounters and their potential for peculiar behavior any theory that proposes a collective answer is at least an ambitious undertaking. This is why it took decades to complete.

The segment titled “Relationship Therapy” is an exercise area where personal relationship issues are shared and then we discuss the issue with respect to the many tenets of the theory I constructed that is part of what you will find when you read my book titled, “The Mammalian Way”. In order to receive the full value of the relationship therapy you need to use my book as a point of reference. You can buy the printed cover version for only $19.95 or the PDF file version of the book for as little as only $5.00 US Go to www.themammalianway.com

I do not encourage comments on this blog. However, if you wish to contact me use gary.jms1@gmail.com or tweet me @garyjames

Copyright (C) Gary James 2010 all rights reserved 

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TIGER WOODS LOVE LIFE: WHAT IMPACT LAY AHEAD?

You are at, www.garyjamesblogs.com  

Given all the media hype about Tiger Wood’s love life who did not know that AT&T would drop his sponsorship. For the moment he is simply too hot & too risky to keep around given the way the media snoops into people’s private lives. Who knows what they might uncover next?

Meanwhile, as a relationships author I can tell you that none of what has gone on recently in Tiger’s life surprised me…not even a little bit. Rather, my contention is, it was probably some publicist or other type of Ad person who likely whispered into Tiger’s ear the benefits of the increased value to his stock should he get married, start a family, and become the quintessential “role model” for God knows who that motivated Tiger Woods to get married in the first place.

With that scenario as a likely influence, the overall estimate that Tiger’s love life will cost sports, endorsements, and his self currently sits at about 12 billion dollars. Talk about the ripple effect. But wait a minute, what about the fact he now no longer has to live the lie?

Prior to the news break about his true interest in women, socially speaking, who didn’t think of Tiger as a fortunate dweeb? But for the fact he could make a golf ball sing opera, cook breakfast, or just about anything else he wanted there is no way that Tiger Woods would get near the women he does. From a strict straight sexual male perspective and someone who has written a book* on the subject Tiger gets a resounding “BRAVO!” (*See book titled “The Mammalian Way”) 

Not that I endorse infidelity because I don’t. Socially speaking, the fact is, Tiger had no business being married in the first place. The Bravo part is because he pulled it off for as long as he did. If Tiger would have the physical look of a Brad Pit I doubt the media would have allowed him to get away with the antics he did for nearly as long.

Financially speaking, Tiger needs on his team an advisor who can council his councilors about how to launch the career of a male sports super star where the fact he is a “playa” as an established fact of life. Tiger MUST now drop his image as a family man liaison between the craziness of big time sports & the average folk and pick up the “scepter of suave”. He can still be a role model to God knows who only he’ll have to add kids the caution about getting married before your time or getting married at all if “it’s” not in you.

Whoever he gets to advise him might even begin with getting him dates with women who can trace their lineage into royal blood or heiresses to major fortunes (for example, if someone could negotiate a Tiger Woods – Paris Hilton hook up it would bolster both of their careers straight into the stratosphere league of relationships I call, “The Untouchables”).

I do not know Tiger Woods personally but I do know he needs to read the information I have to share while he is still in sabbatical. But that’s another blog.

As I do not encourage comments here I invite you to email me. Gary.jms1@gmail.com I am the only one who reads mail sent there so feel free to speak your mind. OR, if you wish, call me. My phone is always busy so you will probably need to leave a message. I promise to get back with you usually within 24 hours. 412-378-1531 

 Copyright Gary James 2010 all rights reserved

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TIGER WOOD’S LOVE LIFE IS PROOF POSITIVE THAT WOMEN PICK MEN

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Elin Nordegren, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin, Jaimee Grubbs, etc., etc……..all picked Tiger as a sex partner. Their behavior toward Tiger Woods are examples of women acting out behavior that is on the purely mammalian side of the “Pendulum Swing Of Insecurity” that all women perpetually ride.

Since I wrote the original theory about human instinctive behavior and how it controls our behavior in relationships more than we might think, this, despite the fact we humans also possess a cognitive capacity that is supposed to control our more primal behavior that I refer to as, “The Mammalian Way”, there has been an ever increasing number of issues in people’s relationships, especially celebrity relationships that bear out the tenets of my original theory to the “T”.

For example, a major tenet of my original theory related to how men and women behave instinctively in relationships is the fact that when it comes to relationships, Women Pick Men….. Men do not Pick Women. This is especially true when sex & romance can enter the mix of a relationship’s emotions and social behavior patterns.

Another tenet that most non professionals tend to under estimate is the fact that women innately respond to a man they perceive as powerful in that they are drawn to him. According to the decades long studies I conducted most women admitted that when they are/were in the company of men they perceived as powerful they had a tendency to become “wet between the legs”. In my book titled, “The Mammalian Way” I expound on this tendency to include the fact that a woman’s response to a man’s power is mostly a perception that induces a woman’s more mammalian needs to manifest as a completely soaked vagina and ready for sex as only one example of how her mammalian self innately responds to a man that she’s picked.

Case in point is the ever growing list of women that have picked Tiger Woods for sex. Attention: Do not slight Tiger Woods for what many call a transgression. Tiger Woods was simply up against his own innate mammalian drives akin to most male mammals that typically manifest as an overwhelming urge to spread his seed.

Meanwhile, I doubt that Tiger Woods has ever been taught about the power of the Mammalian Way as it relates to a man’s responsibility toward his as well as “her” set of purely mammalian instincts when in a committed relationship such as marriage. Otherwise, I doubt he would be in the mess he’s in. Still, Tiger’s MAMMALIAN INSTINCTS ARE QUITE NORMAL. It’s the way he acted upon them that is cheap & hurtful.

I maintain that unless a man (or woman) truly knows what they are dealing with in an innate drive that can affect their relationships, when that drive becomes manifest, a man (or woman) are extremely prone to act on that drive regardless of their semantic commitments or other cognitive capacities to the contrary (such as vows) and they will almost always do the wrong thing in the end. And this fact is predicated on the fact we humans live in an ever increasing imperfectly safe environment. (Read “The Mammalian Way” for a clear understanding)

Psychiatrists, psychologists, and other therapists have been the first people to use my theory in their practices. The tenets can be used as therapy after a relationship issue arises or it can also be used as a pre-emptive measure to avoid or abate a crucial situation such as the urge to cheat! Since the question of “why do men or women cheat” is in the top three questions I get asked, it is therefore time for humans earth wide to understand their gender specific innate drives. So read my book.

Bottom Line: When a man has a social posture based on such things as money, fame, and accomplishment, etc., it is easy to set up women desperate for their own identity to fall for him. They’ll pick him if only to satisfy her curiosity. But make no mistake about it she will need to see him as powerful and she must pick him before anything can happen between them (even if he’s the one who approaches her first.) And it’s all in keeping with “The Mammalian Way”. Power is a huge attraction for a woman because it goes to her deep insatiable innate need for security…But that’s another blog.

Since I do not encourage comments on this blog you can contact me via email, gary.jms1@gmail.com I am the only one who reads that mail.

Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.

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RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN ARE BOTH VICTIMS OF “THE MAMMALIAN WAY”

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“The more in love we became, the more dangerous we became to each other”.

This sentence spoken on the show 20/20 by Pop Star Rihanna is an accurate summation of what the instinctive behavior known as “The Mammalian Way” can do to you, your relationship, and others, IF & When you do not know that you and others are being massively affected by instinctive behavior patterns over which you have very little direct control. This is especially true if you have no idea that “The Mammalian Way” exists. And so it is for Rihanna and Chris Brown. Their relationship ended because neither of them are aware of how deeply “The Mammalian Way” can influence presumed loving behaior and create issues in a relarionship.

Photo by: Lester Cohen / WireImage

The fact is, everyone who is human must contend with the tenets of “The Mammalian Way” or you can satiate the forces that drive it, especially if your relationship entails an element of sex & romance.

However, you dare not ignore “The Mammalian Way”. Otherwise, you can end up like Rihanna and Chris Brown…..Or worse. For example, Steve McNair and Sahel Kazemi. Steve & Sahel’s relationship issues also emanated from “The Mammalian Way” of things but it ended in extreme violence, namely, murder-suicide. SO, the issues between Rihanna and Chris Brown could have been worse.

Rihanna was also quoted as saying “There was no person when I looked at him” during the fight they had where Chris admitted he physically abused Rihanna.

This stands to reason. It is a well documented fact that when men are in love with a woman as beautiful as Rihanna men can get very possessive, very quickly. That is the typical portrayal of the everyday behavior indicative of “The Mammalian Way” (TMW). But when possessive behavior is coupled with fame (for him and/or her) it further ferments both major tenets of my original theory. 1) The male “Perversions of Honor” (POH)* that persist in our culture in men and 2) It further exacerbates a woman’s massive sense of insecurity called “Pendulum Swing of Insecurity” (PSOI)*, a polarized condition that continually resonates between a woman’s cognitive emotion and the primal. Again, when coupled with fame she is liable to seem well under control (cognitive) but is prone to eventually engage in most any type of dangerous and destructive behavior (an aspect of “TMW”) because this behavior feeds the female mammalian instinct to be protected & dominated by the dangerous male.

Frankly, I am reasonably certain this is the precarious position Rihanna now finds herself in. Rihanna is on the brink of self destruction.

Meanwhile, when men feel the affects of “Double Dis”* compounded by the influences that fame brings him in his relationships his primal instinct to have her simply cease the overt behavior to challenge him and to submit to him becomes quite acute.

Since submitting (in our current culture) is unlikely to happen it is best for people in relationships where the mammalian way becomes a factor which is almost always the case where sex can become a factor, it is best for people in relationships to realize what instinctive forces they are dealing with and abate them as much as possible. Prior knowledge of the forces is the key.

This way a couple involved as deeply as Rihanna & Chris Brown were, can more easily and consistently make a resolve then they can go straight to the make up sex. Also, this way, relationships have a better chance of survival without the assault and battery that has become so pervasive in our culture.

(* For further explanation read the book “The Mammalian Way”)

Head your relationship issues “off at the pass” by reading my book “The Mammalian Way”.

Meanwhile, look for more on Rihanna and Chris and other sub similar subjects.

I do not encourage comments on this blog. You can email me at garyjameradioshow@yahoo.com I am the only one who reads that email so feel free to lament.

 Copyright © Gary James 2009 all rights reserved

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DATING TIPS FOR MEN

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SHE IS A MEN’S ADVOCATE in the dating world and goes by the name “DT”. She has been a featured guest on many relationship talk shows including mine. DT will soon release a book called “The Formula”.

Click here to visit her web site dating tips for men

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ROMANCE FOR WOMEN….AND FOR ALL MANKIND

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Hey eveybody, it’s Gary James!
I hope you’re doing well.
I want to acquaint you to a man that I’m very impressed with. This man’s name is Al Cole. Al is a huge new talent who has burst upon the scene and is a born Romantic! Al’s new Book ROMANCE FOR WOMEN…And For ALL MANKIND is not only great reading, but is one of the few Books out there by a man that truly stands for TREATING WOMEN WITH THE DIGNITY THAT THEY DESERVE! Al has been a full-time Broadcaster for the last 15 years, most of which time has been spent with CBS Radio. Al is a walking example of ingenuity and professionalism! And now his new Book ROMANCE FOR WOMEN…And For ALL MANKIND is available in E-BOOK form!

***Al’s thrilling E-BOOK has already helped many to understand and to love themselves more, and to love the ones closest to them with greater depth. It has opened up a whole new world of beautiful sensuality & sexuality to all those who have entered into it’s creative charm! And it comes highly recommended by me! (You see Al’s book also happens to validate the main tenets of my new theory in the social sciences.) If you order it & read it, you won’t be disappointed.

***Al’s insightful & healing E-BOOK is made fully affordable through safe & secure PayPal — it’s only $9.99! And it’s now conveniently downloadable by CLICKING on this Link

***After reading Al’s E-BOOK, listen to his weekly Syndicated Talk Show IT’S ALL ABOUT ROMANCE–With Al Cole. His Talk Show can be heard on many Radio Stations the greatest of which is Radio giant www.hotmix106.com! Be prepared to become a full-fledged Believer in Love, Romance, and Human Dignity!

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YALE STUDENT ANNIE LE, RAYMOND CLARK AND THE MAMMALIAN WAY

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What does the late Yale student Annie Le, Raymond Clark, and “The Mammalian Way” have in common? Tons of instinctive behavior that’s what.

A recent comment made by one of my readers about my book titled, “The Mammalian Way (TMW)”™ was, “It’s a ground zero for everything in relationships”. And as word spreads about the merits of applying this knowledge into the everyday lives of an earth wide population I see now that is a great way to sum up “TMW”.

Unfortunately, no one told Yale student Annie Le or her alleged murderer Raymond Clark. Had either of them known even the least of the tenets of “TMW” that tend to control human instinctive behavior as they interact with each other throughout life it is more than possible that Annie Le would still be alive and Raymond Clark would not be headed to trial for murder.

How do I know this? Let’s take Raymond Clark as an example. In my book I maintain that all heterosexual males have a very powerful instinctive need to be honored. This need is not something that can be controlled only dealt with through some sort of satiation of the need. This only becomes an issue because we live in a world that is imperfectly safe to a great degree and this also makes it near impossible for men to receive adequate honor to satiate the drive.

If a man happens to be in an environment not conducive to honor satiation he will automatically and instinctively deploy a psychological defense mechanism I call *“Perversions of Honor”. That is to say, a man will do things that might otherwise be deemed dishonorable in order to receive a form of false honor that will somewhat satiate his otherwise insatiable need to receive honor. And, if he does not get even a “perversion of honor” over a long enough time he can easily become a walking time bomb of pent up frustration.

So what is it that can set off this bomb? Why an untimely “dis” to his honor. And if that untimely dis comes from a woman it is tantamount to a *”Double Dis” and if there is even the slightest animosity between he and she at the time, this can easily send a man into a brief torrent frenzy of extreme aggressive behavior.

*[For a complete understanding of “Perversions of Honor” and “Double Dis” see the book titled, “The Mammalian Way”™]

Had Annie Le knew of these facts or if Raymond had been taught the type of circumstances that could occur that might make him susceptible to such aggressive then she/he could have instituted the simple measures outlined in the book to avoid & diffuse such situations in the first place.

There are many advantages to knowing “The Mammalian Way”. I recommend that everyone who routinely interacts with other people read my book and use the information there as a point of reference to optimize the benefits of every relationship you encounter no matter how insignificant that it may seem.

Meanwhile, I maintain that unless something changes in the way that men are currently being socialized and/or rehabilitated in our culture we can all expect a dramatic increase in outbursts of extreme aggressive behavior in relationships from men. CAVEAT!

I do not encourage comments here. However, you may email me privately at, garyjamesradioshow@yahoo.com I am the only one who reads that mail.

copyright (C) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved.

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LADIES: KNOW THE MAMMALIAN WAY. BE ABLE TO READ THE RED FLAGS THAT SCREAM “HE’S NOT THE ONE”!

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He’s moving too fast, he constantly talks about an ex, he’s reluctant to be seen with you in public. These are elements of a distinct pattern of social behavior in relationships between men and women that could lead to the cognitive conclusion, HE’S NOT THE ONE”!….But, then again, these behavior patterns might mean that maybe he is. Why the conflict?

It’s because these behavior patterns in a man* could mean he’s on the rebound (and you’re the re-bounder, and that alone could be a good or bad thing.) Or, it could mean he’s cheating on someone and using you as the cheating device. OR, it could be perfectly normal behavior for him as a part of his process to become socialized into another or even a more committed relationship. (*The same behavior patterns in a woman, often means something entirely different.)

So if you are a woman and the evident love interest of a man with such a pattern of behavior and you’re trying your best to discern the psychology of men or of women, does this mean you just shrug your shoulders, hope for the best and go along for the ride? Well, that is certainly one way to go. However, there is a much safer alternative.

Now days it is vital for someone who values their own heart & self esteem, who wants more pleasure and less pain out of everyday life, that they necessarily need to be able to drill down through the cognitive and be able to read a man or a woman’s instinctive behavior patterns known as, “The Mammalian Way”™.

The importance of this is because human instinctive behavior patterns, once you know how to read them are the ones that reveal the “truest” picture of human behavior, including gender specific issues, communication differences in interpersonal relationships, and the likes, for what they actually mean.

 From Sigmund Freud to Dr. Phil, most people who use psychology as a part of their career will tell you that instinctive behavior has a tendency to be at the root of what controls human behavior. “The Mammalian Way”™ points out how to discern such behavior and what it means from the gender specific perspective, especially when it comes to social behavior between men and women in relationships.

In other words, the information conveyed in the pages of, “The Mammalian Way”™ will provide women with a tool to really get a sense for if the one you’re with or the one you want to be with, is he the one or not?

copyright (c) Gary James 2009 all rights reserved

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